I would say "you call this crap a drink". To sensor myself a bit.

Hi! I'm from Australia, and we use a more vulgar form of english in common speech. It would be common to say something like: ..you call this horse-p*ss a drink? ..you call this sh*t a drink? Amongst my friends, any combination of "animal + p*ss" would work. For something less rude or vulgar, you could go try: 'swill'. You call this "swill" a drink? (swill: kitchen refuse and scraps of waste food mixed with water for feeding to pigs.) We would typically insert a simple cuss-word into it, but also it's un

The possibilities are endless. Here are a few that make no mention of animal excrement: dish water stagnant puddle slosh ooze motor oil mucus slime vomit regurgitated fish

I'm thinking that 'swill' would be a polite, inoffensive, replacement. From Merriam-Webster; swill: something suggestive of slop or garbage : refuse. 2 a : a semiliquid food for animals (such as swine) composed of edible refuse mixed with water or skimmed or sour milk. b : garbage.