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Fredoon Farokh
In my opinion, children can develop their social skills by participating in sports teams.
Firstly, it helps children develop emotional maturity. When children involve in sports teams, they learn to win or lose with respect at a young age. In that, sport teaches them not to become too sad about losses because loss is not the end of the world, or too complacent about wins and always respect the opponent. The ability to manage their emotions, no matter the circumstances, is helpful for many situations they'll face later in life.
In addition, it enables children to make new friends. Joining a soccer team allows children to meet various people and enlarge their circle of friends. The more extensive their social circles, the more support network they have around them. Therefore, they can turn to them in times of need or celebration.
2022년 6월 7일 오전 7:06
교정 · 5
1
In my opinion, children can develop their social skills by participating in sports teams.
Firstly, it helps children develop emotional maturity. When children involve in sports teams, they learn to win or lose with respect(grace) at a young age. In that, sport teaches them not to become too sad about losing because losing is not the end of the world. It also teaches them not to be too complacent (proud/arrogant) about wining and to always respect the opponent. The ability to manage their emotions, no matter the circumstances, is helpful for many situations they'll face later in life.
In addition, it enables children to make new friends. Joining a soccer team allows children to meet various people and enlarge their circle of friends. The more extensive their social circles, the more support network they have around them. Therefore, they can turn to them in times of need or celebration.
It's well written Fredoon. I feel "lose with grace" is better. One of the sentence is a little too long.
I have to write my comments here to save my posting count. Mine is a new account and it seems like Italki limits me to 3 post, corrections, comments every 24 hours.
2022년 6월 8일
1
In my opinion, children can develop their social skills by participating in sports teams.
Firstly, it helps children develop emotional maturity. When children are involved (or involve themselves) in sports teams, they learn to win or lose with respect at a young age. In other words, the sport teaches them not to become too sad about losses because losing is not the end of the world; similarly, they learn not to be too complacent about winning and to always respect their opponent. The ability to manage their emotions, no matter the circumstances, is helpful for many situations they'll face later in life.
In addition, participation in sports enables children to make new friends. Joining a soccer team allows children to meet various people and enlarge their circle of friends. The more extensive their social circle is, the wider the support network they will have around them. Therefore, they can rely upon them during times of need or when they want to celebrate.
Great work Fredoon. Most corrections are just stylistic, but grammatically there aren't any mistakes. Keep it up!
2022년 6월 11일
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Fredoon Farokh
언어 구사 능력
영어, 페르시아어, 스페인어
학습 언어
영어, 스페인어
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