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Aditi
커뮤니티 튜터Today, I had a day off to study. Delhi’s weather is still hot and humid, but the monsoon is slowly arriving. The sky was mostly cloudy. It’s still quite warm, but better than the dry summer heat. I decided to go to Lodi Gardens in the afternoon. I wore a long, flowy cotton skirt - something that feels nice in this kind of weather. It kept me cool and comfortable as I walked and studied. I found a spot under a big peepal tree. In front of me was one of the old Mughal tombs. It was a peaceful view to study with. A group of university girls were sitting nearby with their books. After a while, they started chatting with me. We spoke for a bit, and they sweetly offered me some kokum juice they had brought along. It was perfect for the hot afternoon. Between studying, I took slow walks around the garden. By evening, the weather had changed. It started to feel cool. The sky was getting darker, and I could feel the drop in temperature. I packed my things and left just before sunset, feeling refreshed and a little tired.
So yes - this was meant to be about the weather, but I guess I ended up telling all about my day too.
2025년 6월 25일 오후 8:19
교정 · 2
1
Hi Aditi, the paragraph was quite good but I would suggest you use less commas especially when most of your sentences are short. Check a resource (don't just use AI but find a reliable writing site) and read about the correct usage of commas. Additionally it is good to vary the length of your sentences by making some more complex. Look up synonyms for some of the adjectives especially and use more advanced vocabulary as I do below with struck up a conversation.
Example: I found a spot under a big Peepal tree. In front of me was one of the old Mughal tombs.
I found a spot under a big Peepal tree where I faced one of the old Mughal tombs.
A group of university girls were sitting nearby with their books. After a while, they started chatting with me.
As time passed the group of university girls, sitting nearby with their books, struck up a conversation with me (or commenced to chat with me).
Hope that is helpful. Colleen
2025년 6월 30일 오전 12:01
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Aditi
언어 구사 능력
영어, 독일어, 힌디어, 한국어
학습 언어
영어, 독일어, 한국어
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