‘Passive-aggressive’ describes a way that someone being asked to do something might respond. It doesn’t make sense using that term for your straightforward requests. Your examples in speech aren’t impolite, either. Your request for help on italki could be considered slightly impolite because you haven’t bothered to punctuate your proposals correctly, which comes across as somewhat disrespectful. As far as getting along with your roommate, the words are much less important than the tone.

Make it "It's your turn to <do whatever> ".

Two suggestions: (1) To sound courteous, use the modal verbs "could", "would", "might". They are less bossy than the more direct modals "can", "will", and "may". (2) Instead of the accusatory "it's your turn", turn it into a question "whose turn?". Saying it this way avoids casting blame and produces the same outcome. Ask it sincerely, thereby leaving yourself vulnerable and treating yourselves as equals: "Might (could, would) you dump the trash today?" "The trash is full. Whose turn is it to dump it?" Even better, you could say "Is it my turn to dump it?". That way you offer your own responsibility while leaving your roommate with an opportunity to take responsibility. Rather than confront your roommate with a chore, you offer an opportunity to show virtue.

To avoid sounding passive-aggressive when making polite requests, it's important to use clear and neutral language. Here are a few options you can consider: 1. Direct Request with Reasoning: * "Hey, I've taken out the trash the last couple of times. Could you please do it today?" * This approach provides context and politely asks for help. 2. Shared Responsibility Reminder: * "Hey, the trash is full. Can you take it out this time?" * This approach is straightforward and emphasizes shared responsibility. 3. Polite Request: * "Would you mind taking out the trash today? It’s full again." * This is a polite and direct request without any additional context. All three options are polite and clear without sounding passive-aggressive. They communicate your request directly while also acknowledging the shared responsibility.

Get down to business, Shia! The trash hasn't been taking itself out! So . . . How about we share that responsibility? Your turn!!!