"gentlemeness" isn't really a word. I think you mean "chivalry" (como la cabellerosidad, no?).

Indeed many of the customs of chivalry and good manners have their roots in traditional gender stereotypes and roles, but that doesn't mean that one should necessarily abandon them. Opening the door for a lady is nice, letting a lady have your seat on the bus is a nice gesture as well. I think it is enough that these things are optional these days as opposed to before when they were practically mandatory.

 I think that the current meaning of the word "feminism" has nothing to do with the original "purpose". Feminism was a movement that grew stronger at the beginning of the xxth century, the main objective was to acquire "equality" between men and women. Nowadays many people understand feminism as women´s flag to feel better than men, rather than attending a process to gain the same rights and opportunities.