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커뮤니티 튜터April,12 :The Cosmonautics day in Russia
Did you know, that if you plan on being an astronaut learning Russian is essential as it is considered to be "the language of space"?)
Cosmonautics Day is celebrated on Sunday, April 12 in Russia. The Soviet cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin became the first man who went to space on this day in 1961.
I live in a city which is called a cradle of Russian Space exploration, because of it's famous resident Konstantin Tsiolkovsky who considered to be a father of Russian Cosmonautics)🚀
I would like to share with you some links to online exhibitions dedicated to this holiday, Every day, the site https://vdnh.ru/ hosts many online excursions. On the eve of the holiday, the Cosmonautics and Aviation Center at VDNKh prepared an audio guide of stars about stars.
http://museum.ok.ru/kosmos/
2020년 4월 12일 오후 5:47
교정 · 4
1
April,12 :The Cosmonautics Day in Russia
Did you know, that if you plan on being an astronaut, learning Russian is essential as it is considered to be 'the language of space'?
Cosmonautics Day is celebrated on Sunday, April 12 in Russia. This is because the Soviet Cosmonaut, Yuri Gagarin, became the first man to go into space on this day in 1961.
I live in a city which is commonly called (referred to as) the cradle of Russian Space exploration, because of <s>it's </s>its famous resident, Konstantin Tsiolkovsky, who is considered to be the/one of the father(s) of Russian Cosmonautics. 🚀
I would like to share <s>with you</s> some links to online exhibitions dedicated to this holiday. Every day, the site https://vdnh.ru/ hosts many online excursions. On the eve of the holiday, the Cosmonautics and Aviation Center at VDNKh prepared an audio guide about stars.
Really great job, keep it up!
Some notes:
Capitalise the C on works like Cosmonautics Day, its a holiday so it deserves the importance of a capital letter!
On the second paragraph I added a This is because so that it allows on from the sentence before, indicating that is is because this guy went to space that the holiday is celebrated on the day you mentioned in the previous sentence.
"considered to be a father of Russian Cosmonautics" This sounds unclear as to if he is the only father, or one of many people considered the father of... so I gave you both options in my edit.
I lot of languages, when talking about sharing stuff, would write "I would like to share with you some links", but in English, it would be more common to write the with you after the object.
For example, I would like to share some cake with you. And not, I would like to share with you some cake.
In terms of comprehension though, fantastic, everything can be understood and English is one of those languages where when you are speaking, you can afford to break many rules and still be understood by people.
2020년 4월 12일
👍
2020년 4월 12일
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