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sunshine
Correct, please.
Climate change is a phenomenon the whole world is suffering from. Some people think it is the government and big businesses'responsability to prevent climate change. Others think that individuals can make a difference.
Some people think that big businesses are the main cause of climate change. So, the governments around the world should come up with solutions to prevent this imminent environmental disaster. This will achieve by imposing restrictions on emissions and strictly monitoring on waste disposal from factories.
On the other hand, there are a growing number of people who think that individuals can help prevent climate change. If everyone thinks how much water he uses. In addition, people should plant trees that help reduce carbon dioxide.
To conclude, I believe that climate change is a big problem we all should cooperate to prevent it and protect our lives and environment. Governments,businesses and individuals should come together to solve this problem.
2020년 6월 30일 오후 4:21
교정 · 4
1
Correct, please.
Climate change is a phenomenon the whole world is suffering from. Some people think it is the government and big businesses' responsibility to prevent climate change. Others think that individuals can make a difference.
Some people think that big businesses are the main cause of climate change. In response, the governments around the world must come up with solutions to prevent this imminent environmental disaster. This will/can be achieved by imposing restrictions on emissions and strictly monitoring on waste disposal from factories.
On the other hand, there are a growing number of people who think that individuals can help prevent climate change if everyone is aware of how much water they use. In addition, people should plant trees to help reduce carbon dioxide.
To conclude, I believe that climate change is a big problem that we all should cooperate to prevent it to protect our lives and environment. Governments, businesses and individuals need to/must come together to solve this problem/crisis.
2020년 6월 30일
This is really good! Must is more appropriate for a lot of these sentences because it is a stronger word. Should is something that someone needs to do but like it isn't necessary. With your tone, "must" or "need to" would be more appropriate to display that this is urgent and needs quick action. "So" is usually used in more casual speech but this sounds more like an essay/writing piece so I changed it to "In response." The word everyone is referring to more than one person so the "he (singular)" changes to "they (plural)." Most all of the corrections I made are very subtle differences people even in high school make, so this is really good, basically a native speaker! (Let me know if you have any other questions, I'll try to respond!)
2020년 6월 30일
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