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Bilal
Sacrfice I was alone at home ,suddenly i have an idea,i remember a person ,then .i decid to make a research in skype to find him ,i used every thing i have in order to get the target ,i was busy and really tired ,but i said in my mind that i couldnt make down it i have get it soon.Finally ,i found ,it was very important for me ,i was so happy because i arrived i almost arrived to answer my question about friend ???

교정 · 4

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Sacrfice

I was alone at home , suddenly i have an idea,i remember a person ,then .i decid to make a research in skype to find him

I was alone at home and I recalled a person. Suddenly I had an idea that I searched for him in the Skype.

,i used every thing i have in order to get the target ,i was busy and really tired ,but i said in my mind that i couldnt make down it i have get it soon.

I tried everything I could do to get the target. Though I was busy and really tired, I said in my mind that I could not give it up.

Finally ,i found ,it was very important for me ,i was so happy because i arrived i almost arrived to answer my question about friend ???

Finally, I found him. It was very important for me, and I was so happy because I did it.

 

Comment: Congratulations! :D You finally found your friend. I wish I could be as lucky as you... Sadly, one of my good netfriends dippeared one month ago. I could not find him out, which has made me disppointed for a while.

 

Tips:

1. Pay attention to the punctuation. One sentence ( ended with a "." , "?" , "!" ) can only has one VERB!

2. "I" should be always capitalized.

3. When you write a formal essay, full word is suggested. e.g. don't——> do not; doesn't——>does not...

 

Note:

1. I has made a little big change to your essays in order to make the article more compact. I hope you will like the change. :)

2. What does words in blue mean???

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Congratulations! You found the answer for your previous question. And you found your friend again. You and he must be very lucky that you could find each other again.
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Sacrfice

I was alone at home ,suddenly i had an idea,i remembered a person, then, i decided to make a research in skype to find him, i used every thing i had in order to get the targe , i was busy and really tired, but i though that i couldnt give it up. I got it soon.Finally ,i found it because it was very important for me ,i was so happy because i arrived i almost arrived to answer my question about friend ???

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