Search from various 영어 teachers...
邱圆英
I want have a holiday for one week Hello everyone, I am Vicky , from Shenzhen China . First of all , I am grateful for your time to read this text. My job is Foreign trade clerk, I love my job and I work very hard , I started this job 1 month ago, Because my English is not good enough, I feel like to work too strenuous. Last month I very diligently in studied English, Now I get a bit depressed, work, study English ,work , study English nothing else, that's makes me almost crazy right now. Maybe I should have a relaxing holiday to release pressure. There are many beauty place in Shenzhen , I prefer the beach rather than other landscape,Would you like have a holiday together ?
2013년 5월 8일 오전 6:46
교정 · 7
2

I want have a holiday [vacation] for one week

 

Hello everyone, I am Vicky , from Shenzhen China . First of all , I am grateful for your time to read this text. [read my Notebook entry]


My job is a Foreign trade clerk. I love my job and I work very hard. I started this job 1 month ago

Because my English is not good enough, I feel like to the work too strenuous. Last month, I very started to diligently in studyied English, Now, I get a bit depressed. [I feel like all I do is] work, study English ,work , study English and nothing else, that's makes me feel almost crazy right now.

**suggestions**

[right now it's making me feel crazy] [right now it's driving [*think* moving towards a feeling**] me crazy] [Because this is all i do, I feel like I'm going crazy]

 

 

Maybe I should have (schedule?) a relaxing holiday to release [relieve] the pressure. There are many beauty beautiful places in Shenzhen.  I prefer the beach. [** no need to say since you are not specific or comparing to another, like mountains**] rather than other landscape,

 

Would you like have a holiday together (** with you? **) ?

[Would you like to take a holiday too?] [** this is what I think you meant to say**]

2013년 5월 9일
2

I want have a holiday for one week

Hello everyone, I am Vicky , from Shenzhen China . First of all , I am grateful for your time to read this text.
My job is Foreign trade clerk, I love my job and I work very hard , I started this job 1 month ago, Because my English is not good enough, I feel like to work too strenuous. Last month I very diligently in studied English, Now I get a bit depressed, work, study English ,work , study English nothing else, that's makes me almost crazy right now. Maybe I should have a relaxing holiday to release pressure. There are many beauty place in Shenzhen , I prefer the beach rather than other landscape,Would you like have a holiday together ?

 

I want have a vacation for one week

Hello everyone, I am Vicky , from Shenzhen China . First of all , I am grateful for your time to read my Notebook entry.

My job is a Foreign trade clerk. I love my job and I work very hard. I started this job 1 month ago.

Because my English is not good enough, I feel like to the work too strenuous. Last month, I very started to diligently in studyed English, Now, I get a bit depressed. I feel like all I do is work, study English ,work , study English and nothing else, that's makes me feel almost crazy right now.

[right now it's making me feel crazy] [right now it's driving [*think* moving towards a feeling**] me crazy] [Because this is all i do, I feel like I'm going crazy]

Maybe I should have schedule a relaxing holiday to release relieve the pressure. There are many beauty beautiful places in Shenzhen. I prefer the beach, rather than other landscape,

Would you like to take a holiday too?

2013년 5월 9일
1

I want to have a holiday for one week

Hello everyone, I am Vicky , from Shenzhen China . First of all , I am grateful for your time to read this text.
My job is Foreign trade clerk, I love my job and I work very hard , I started this job 1 month ago, Because my English is not good enough, I feel like to work too strenuous. Last month I very diligently in studied English, Now I get a bit depressed, work, study English ,work , study English nothing else, that's makes me almost crazy right now. Maybe I should have a relaxing holiday to release pressure. There are many beauty place in Shenzhen , I prefer the beach rather than other landscape,Would you like to have a holiday together too?

2013년 5월 25일
1

REVISED VERSION:

Hello everyone, I am Vicky , from Shenzhen China . First of all, I'm grateful that you have taken the time to
read this text. I work as a foreign trade clerk. I
got my job about a month ago. Since my job requires
me to use English on a regular basis, I sometimes
have a hard time performing my duties because my
English isn't good enough.

To solve this problem, I started studying English
diligently last month.

I feel a bit depressed because I just work and study English all day. It drives me crazy.

Maybe I should take a relaxing holiday to release
the pressure. There are many beautiful places in Shenzhen
but I prefer the beaches.

Would you like to have a holiday together?

 

2013년 5월 16일
Who can help me to modify,please ,
2013년 5월 9일
더 빨리 진행하고 싶나요?
이 학습 커뮤니티에 참여하고 무료로 연습해보세요!

집에서 편안하게 언어를 배울 수 있는 기회를 놓치지 마세요. 경험 많은 강사진을 살펴보고 지금 바로 첫 수업을 신청하세요!