沫陌
Some people think museums should be enjoyable places to attract and entertain young people. Others Talked about the position of the museum, there are two separate viewpoints. Some people treat it as a place to relief themselves while the others consist that we should emphasis the education function of the museums. With views of both sides considerate, I think it is time to break the routine and give museum an opportunity to function its recreation. Here are my arguments. First of all, with the rapid development of the modern society, people especially the juvenile are so stressful that they need a place to release the pressure. As a result of this demands, museums which function like a entertainment place emerges one by one. And this phenomenon in return demonstrates my opinion that museums should be enjoyable places. In the second place, in my opinion it is time to reposition the role of the museum. For a long time, museum is always classified as a serious place. However, compared to old days, culture nowadays are much more diverse, at the same time popular arts need a more inclusive stage to express their contents. In this situation, the old style museum can not fulfill its needs. Also, there are some opponents who disagree with my opinion. They argue that the educational feature of museum should not be discarded. For example, people may benefit from the traditional drama which tells the story of courage and decision. All in all, although the educational meaning of the museum can not be estimated, the needs of the modern human beings can not be ignored, too.
2013년 10월 9일 오후 1:11
교정 · 2

Some people think museums should be enjoyable places to attract and entertain young people. Others

Talked When we talk about the position of the museum, there are two separate viewpoints. Some people treat it as a place to relief enjoy themselves while the others consist consider that we should emphasis emphasise the educational function of the museums. With views of both sides considerate considered, I think it is time to break the routine and give museum an opportunity to function as its recreation.
Here are my arguments. First of all, with the rapid development of the modern society, people especially the juvenile young are so stressful stressed that they need a place to release relieve the pressure. As a result of this demands, museums which function like a entertainment place emerges one by one. And this phenomenon in return demonstrates my opinion that museums should be enjoyable places.
In the second place, in my opinion it is time to reposition the role of the museum. For a long time, museum is have always been classified as a serious places. However, compared to old days, culture nowadays are is much more diverse, at the same time popular arts need a more inclusive stage to express themselves their contents. In this situation, the old style museum can not fulfill its needs.
Also, there are some opponents who disagree with my opinion. They argue that the educational features of museum should not be discarded. For example, people may benefit from the traditional dramas which tells the stories of courage and decision.
All in all, although the educational meaning of the museum can not be estimated, the needs of the modern human beings can not be ignored, too either.

2013년 10월 9일
小朋友是准备雅思吧? 下面是我个人的看法,不到之处见谅哈: Talked...there are... 这句型好像有问题啊 while the others -> while others emphasis -> emphasize With views of both sides considerate -> With views of both sides considered give museum -> give museums with the rapid development of the modern society 这个泛滥的短语不会得高分的哦 this demands -> this demand a entertainment -> an entertainment museum is -> the museum culture nowadays -> cultures nowadays , at the same time ->. At the same time, Also, there are -> However, there are 1:最好不要把反对的观点放在最后,如果放在最后的话,那应该对反对的观点进行反驳 2:最后一句话,感觉你的立场变得有点儿折中了哦
2013년 10월 9일
더 빨리 진행하고 싶나요?
이 학습 커뮤니티에 참여하고 무료로 연습해보세요!