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Letizia
Today Today was a beautiful day. The sun was too hot and I decided to go at university to walking. Before to enter at university I went at coffee shop and I ate a croissant and a small coffee. I was ready to study. I finisched at twelve o'clock and I came at home. I was happy because I finisched my work.
2013년 11월 9일 오후 6:38
교정 · 9
1

Today

Today was a beautiful day.
The sun was too hot and I decided to go at university to walking.
Before to enter at university I went at coffee shop and I ate a croissant and a small coffee.
I was ready to study. I finisched at twelve o'clock and I came at home.
I was happy because I finisched my work.

 

Today

Today was a beautiful day. The sun was really (too) hot and so I decided to walk to university (go at university to walking). Before entering, (to enter at university) I stopped off at a (went at) coffee shop, where (and) I ate a croissant and drank a small coffee. I was then ready to study. I finished (finisched) at twelve o'clock and returned (I came at) home, feeling (I was) happy at having finished (because I finisched) my work.

2013년 11월 9일

Today

Today was a beautiful day.
The sun was too hot and I decided to go to the university on foot.
Before entering the university I went to a coffee shop and I had a croissant and a small coffee. (non è corretto usare "ate" perchè il verbo si riferisce anche al caffè, e un caffe non si mangia)
I was ready to study. I finished at twelve o'clock and I went back home.
I was happy because I had finished my homework.

2013년 11월 9일

Today

Today was a beautiful day.
The sun was too hot so I decided to go walking at the university.
Before entering the university, I went to a coffee shop and I ate a croissant and had a small coffee.
I was ready to study. I finished at twelve o'clock and I came home.
I was happy because I finished my work.

2013년 11월 10일

Today

Today was a beautiful day.


The sun was too [Cannot use "too" here.  This means it is unbearable.  So cannot be a nice day.  You can also use "nice and warm"] hot and I decided to take a stroll go at the campus university to walking.


Before going to the to enter at university I went at coffee shop and I ate had a croissant and coffee in a cafe  and a small coffee.


I was ready to study. I finisched at twelve o'clock noon and I came at home. I was happy because I finisched my work.

 

What happened to your stroll?  You must say something about it otherwise why include it in the essay.  Even if you didn't take one, you should mentioned it.  This is good writing.  Don't leave your readers in a lurch.  This is not a mystery piece :)

2013년 11월 9일
Da quanto tempo studi inglese?
2013년 11월 9일
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