Nana
Today's shopping. The weather was great on this day!I went to the park with my kids.But,There were lots of the people .We could not play much.We went shopping after that.I bought a blueray.I wanted for a long time.But I don't understand how to use. Hang in there!
2014년 11월 22일 오후 2:37
교정 · 3

Today's shopping.

The weather was great [on this day] ['Today' is more natural]! I went to the park with my kids, but there were lots of the people there. We could not play much. We went shopping after that and I bought a blueray. I've wanted one for a long time, but I don't understand how to use it. Hang in there![I will hang in there!] ??

 

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間隔に注意してください。Use: And, But, However, So

 

use less '.' and more ',' 

 

しかし、全部分かりました。よくできました!

2014년 11월 22일
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