The Wild Wildflowers One bright spring morning, you were born in our garden. I was there, looking at you struggle to come out of some silky hands holding you tightly. And then, you set yourself free f

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The Wild Wildflowers One bright spring morning, you were born in our garden. I was there, looking at you struggle to come out of some silky hands holding you tightly. And then, you set yourself free from those imprisoning hands embracing your beauty cruelly! You spread your wings and flew. Just like a desert which had never seen the rainbow before, I gazed at you. Something trembled inside me. What was that? I didn’t know! The flowers with their alluring beauty and scent attracted you. The velvet like petals of the roses, the elegant tulips, the proud narcissus, and the gentle lilies were filling your heart with joy. Each was attractive in a special way! You seemed to like them. The sun was still shining when you left there. You flew away and never saw me. How could you see me? I was just a little wildflower grown beside the garden door!

2015년 2월 28일 오전 11:50

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corrections

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The Wild Wildflowers

One bright spring morning, you were born in our garden. I was there, looking at you struggling to come out of some the silky hands holding you tightly. And then, you set yourself free from those imprisoning hands holding cruelly onto your beauty! You spread your wings and flew. Just like a desert which had has never seen the a rainbow before, I gazed at you. Something trembled inside me. What could it be? I didn’t know!

The flowers with their alluring scent and their beauty attracted you. The velvet-like petals of the roses, the elegant tulips, the proud narcissus, and the gentle lilies filled your heart with joy. Each was attractive in a special way! You seemed to adore them.

The sun was still shining when you left there here. You flew away and never saw me. How could you see have seen me? I was just a little wildflower grown growing beside the garden door!

Did you write this from scratch? It's very poetic and beautiful :) And visually captivating too! I was imagining everything as I was reading along. I feel sorry for the wildflower.. I would have loved it more than the alluring flowers.

2015년 2월 28일

The Wild Wildflowers

One bright spring morning, you were born in our garden. I was there, looking at you struggling to come out of some silky hands holding you tightly. And then, you set yourself free from those imprisoning hands cruelly embracing your beauty cruelly! You spread your wings and flew, just like a desert which had never before seen the a rainbow before. I gazed at you. Something inside me trembled inside me. What was that? I didn’t know!

The flowers with their alluring beauty and irresistible scent attracted you. The velvet like petals of the roses, the elegant tulips, the proud narcissus, and the gentle lilies, each attractive in its own way, were filling filled your heart with joy. Each was attractive in a special way! You seemed to like them.

The sun was still shining when you left there. You flew away and never saw without noticing me. How could you see me? I was am just a little wildflower grown beside the garden door!

corrections

suggestions

Nice! I tried not to change too much as it is obvious you don't need much help. :) The sentence "You seemed to like them" is an understatment. It doesn't fit with the imagery that you have built up.

scent This is good... but I would have chosen "fragrance".

Be sure to ask questions if you have any.

2015년 3월 1일