Alice
PERSEVERANCE Everyone has a dream, because dreaming is the most wonderful thing for us. It makes us happy and gives us power to live. But how to make our dream come true? I think we should have intelligence, courage, luck, etc. But the most important thing is perseverance. When I was a little girl, I dreamed of becoming a painter. I drew every day and I knew my painting was good. But I didn't become a painter and my job has nothing to do with painting. Maybe you will ask me why? Because I didn't persist in painting. I always think I am young and still have a lot of time to paint. So I was distracted by other things, my studies, playing, being in love. I lost my dream at last. I have a friend who is a pianist. I met him when we were in high school. He was 18 years old that year and he had no idea how to play the piano, but he got so much into it. He said that he wanted to become a pianist in the future. We all laughed at him, because we thought it was impossible for him. But he didn't care about what others said. He worked so hard to learn to play piano and he played it day and night. Sometimes he even forgot to have a meal. After nine years, when I saw him again, he had finally accomplished his dream of becoming a pianist. The 2012 winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature, Mo Yan, he became a famous writer after he won the Nobel Prize, before that he was an unknown writer. He started writing in 1985. For a few decades, he wrote a lot of novels. Although most of them were not published, he didn't give up writing. Can you imagine what would happen if he gave up writing? So, I think perseverance is the most important thing in our life. Whatever our dream is, we should persist and try our best to accomplish it.!
2015년 5월 19일 오후 2:38
교정 · 4
Instead of "I lost my dream at last". You should say "I lost my dream in the end". At last is used to show that something that you have been waiting for or expecting for a long time has happened.
2015년 5월 25일
Wonderful writing, it goes without saying that perseverance is the key factor of success, but just to say that we should persist on doing what we wanna do i s not enough i believe. WE should also know HOW to persevere!
2015년 5월 19일

PERSEVERANCE

Everyone has a dream, because dreaming is the most wonderful thing for us. It makes us happy and gives us power to live. But how to make our dream come true? I think we should have intelligence, courage, luck, etc. But the most important thing is perseverance.
When I was a little girl, I dreamed of becoming a painter. I drew every day and I knew my painting was good. But I didn't become a painter and my job has nothing to do with painting. Maybe you will ask me why? Because I didn't persist in painting. I always thaught I was young and still had a lot of time to paint. So I was distracted by other things, my studies, playing, being in love. I lost my dream at last.
I have a friend who is a pianist. I met him when we were in high school. He was 18 years old that year and he had no idea how to play the piano, but he got so much into it. He said that he wanted to become a pianist in the future. We all laughed at him, because we thought it was impossible for him. But he didn't care about what others said. He worked so hard to learn to play piano and he played it day and night. Sometimes he even forgot to have a meal. After nine years, when I saw him again, he had finally accomplished his dream of becoming a pianist.
The 2012 winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature, Mo Yan, he became a famous writer after he won the Nobel Prize, before that he was an unknown writer. He started writing in 1985. For a few decades, he wrote a lot of novels. Although most of them were not published, he didn't give up writing. Can you imagine what would happen if he gave up writing?
So, I think perseverance is the most important thing in our life. Whatever our dream is, we should persist and try our best to accomplish it.!

2015년 5월 19일
Good job!
2015년 5월 19일
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