john bayron
Great day Today was a great day because i went to amusement park with my family. At the beginning i was scared about the first mechanical attraction we took , that was the highest in the park. while i was in the line i could hear people screaming, but it didnt matter because i really like adrenaline. the only thing that i was worried about was throw up but at the end night was great. it is wonderfull can share with people that i really love as my family.
2015년 7월 3일 오전 6:24
교정 · 5

A Great Day

 

Today was a great day because I went to an amusement park with my family. At In the beginning, I was scared about with the first mechanical attraction we rode on as it took , that was the highest tallest ride in the park. While I was waiting in the line, I could heard people screaming, but it didn't matter because I really like the adrenaline rushing into my brains. The only thing that I was worried about was throwing up but at the end of the night, everything was great.

It is wonderfull to can share with people that I really love as the time with my family.

 

You need to learn the rules of capitalization in English.

2015년 7월 3일

Great day

Today was a great day because I (El pronombre «I» siempre va en mayúscula) went to an amusement park with my family. In the beginning I was scared about the first mechanical attraction ride we took rode. It was the highest in the park. While I was in the line I could hear people screaming, but it didnt matter because I really like adrenaline.  The only thing that I was worried about was throwing up, but by the end of the night everything was great.

It is wonderfull that I can share with people that I really love as my family.

 

_______

 

It sounds like you had a blast!

2015년 7월 3일
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