Daria K
The guy I met I finally found the perfect guy, with perfect face and body, with perfect laugh and smile, with perfect voice and social skills, with perfect mind. But with one big imperfect part. The girlfriend.
2015년 8월 30일 오후 8:41
교정 · 6
I totally agree with Karl Franz. The perfect place is where we are absent.
2015년 8월 31일
I made it more poetic for you.
2015년 8월 30일

The guy I met

I finally found the perfect guy,

I finally found the prefect face, the perfect body.

I found the perfect laugh, the perfect smile,

with perfect voice and perfect social skills,

I finally found the perfect mind...

and his perfect girlfriend. ????????

2015년 8월 30일
outch!
2015년 8월 30일

The guy I met.

I finally found the perfect guy, with a perfect face and body, with a perfect laugh and smile, with a perfect voice and social skills, with a perfect mind. But with one big imperfect part. The girlfriend.

 

Dasha, you have rather overused "with" and "and" it's usual to avoid repetitions. Compare these:

1  "I finally found the perfect guy, with a perfect face, body, laugh, smile, voice, social skills and mind. But with one big imperfect part. The girlfriend."

2  "I finally found the perfect guy, everything was perfect, his face, his body, his laugh, his smile, his voice, his social skills and his mind. Just one big imperfect part - his girlfriend."

 

2015년 8월 30일
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