Isabelle
Office note Hi everyone! Could you please correct the following example of a message? I also ask you if you could suggest some expressions which are better than the expressions I used. Thank you. ---- I spoke with my manager about the possibility of updating the plan and there is not this capability at the moment. Any changes should be submitted by an official notice by your Management to share the possibility that the target are not reached with our Management. ----
2015년 11월 26일 오전 9:33
교정 · 9
2

I have spoken with my manager about the possibility of updating the plan, and/but we are unable to do this [there is not this capability*] at the moment. Any changes should be submitted by means of an official notice by/from your Management, to **allow for/[share] the possibility that agreement on the target are is not reached with our Management. 


----

*not wrong, but rather formal

**try to reach agreement with our Management on the proposed target(s)

2015년 11월 26일
1

I spoke with my manager about the possibility of updating the plan but this is not possible at the moment. Any changes should be submitted in an official notice from your Management in order to let us know if the target may not been reached by our Management. 

 

<em>I don't really know enough context to have a good feeling for the meaning of your note.  I cannot guarantee that my correction means exactly what you intended.</em>

<em>The first sentence has a standard formal style, but the second is very formal and impersonal.  </em>

<em>The usage of "Management" is unusual.  I am not sure which people you mean.</em>

<em>Italians use the word "possibility" a lot but this word is quite formal, and not so often used in English. We normally use "can", "could", "may" instead, depending on the shade of meaning.</em>

<em>Kind regards, Michael </em>

2015년 11월 26일
hello sorry I want learn English
2015년 11월 26일
더 빨리 진행하고 싶나요?
이 학습 커뮤니티에 참여하고 무료로 연습해보세요!