I am aiming for a the band score above 7.0 at for IELTs Writing - Please add me if you have the same target

The great moments of your life won't necessarily be the things you do. They'll also be the things that happen to you. I'm not saying that you can't take action to affect the outcome of your life. You have to take action, and you will. But never forget, on any day, you could step out the front door and your whole life can could change forever.
You see, the universe has a plan, and that plan is always in motion. A butterfly flaps its wings, thunder is rumbling and it starts to rain.
It is a scary thought, but it's also kind of wonderful. All these little parts of machinery constantly working, making sure that you end up exactly where you're supposed to be, exactly when you're supposed to be there.
THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME !!!
Let's rock !!!

I am aiming for the band score above 7.0 at IELTs Writing - Please add me if you have the same targe

The great moments of your life won't necessarily be the things you do. They'll also be the things that happen to you. I'm not saying that you can't take action to affect the outcome of your life. You have to take action, and you will. But never forget, on any day, you could step out the front door and your whole life can change forever.
You see, the universe has a plan, and that plan is always in motion. A butterfly flaps its wings, thunder is rumbling and it starts to rain.
It is a scary thought, but it's also kind of wonderful. All these little parts of a machine constantly working, making sure that you end up exactly where you're supposed to be, exactly when you're supposed to be there.
THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME !!!
Let's rock !!!

Hello Hai and welcome to italki,

To get the most from italki I suggest that you post entries in your notebook at least 2-3 times a week, probably a maximum of 2 paragraphs is generally best. Remember to read people's corrections and comments and learn from them.

You can have language partners and spend part of the time speaking in your language and part in English or if you want you can also have lessons with professional language teachers.

Just a few small improvements to this text.

Happy learning in 2016.

Bob

I am aiming for a band score above 7.0 for IELTs Writing - Please add me if you have the same target

The great moments of your life won't necessarily be the things you do. They'll also be the things that happen to you. I'm not saying that you can't take action to affect the outcome of your life. You have to take action, and you will. But never forget, on any day, you could step out the front door and your whole life can change forever.
You see, the universe has a plan, and that plan is always in motion. A butterfly flaps its wings, thunder is rumbling and it starts to rain.
It is a scary thought, but it's also kind of wonderful. All these little parts of machine constantly working, making sure that you end up exactly where you're supposed to be, exactly when you're supposed to be there.
THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME !!!
Let's rock !!!