Languages diversity - a practice

The relative importance of languages diversity 0* is a frequent topic. Whether to help these endangered languages survive from dangerous situations1* or not, however, has been a debatable issue. I strongly believed that we should keep a world of diverse languages world.

Languages, as well as characters has have become an essential part of our culture,it they represent a remarkable feature of a country or a place, such as a different lifestyle, a unique way of thinking and a significant ability of creation2*?, which has have been developed during thousands of years to convert  different ideas or habits of language speakers  owner into speech. Once it was is discarded or ruined, the inhabitants of this specific area will 3* lose their roots*, resulting in a great pity. 4*


Nevertheless, as we all know that every one was born to have with the right to express themselves, while the lost loss of a dialect reveals a fact in someway that this area was exposed to a serious threat to survival environment, just like endangered species of plants and animals.Obviously it is unfair for the groups who created this these languages. For instance, in Zhe Jiang province, China, a place with more than 20 kinds of dialects, I noticed that most of my peers(18~21 years old) can not speak even one of their dialects that their seniors speak, while the local companies are prefer to choose employees with a fluent YongKang dialect, so there is no doubt my peers and I are less competitive in finding jobs.



In addition, languages are also a vital part of national economics, no mater in education or translation industry. If there are fewer languages or only one language in the world, it's inevitable that state economics will be affected, as well as leading to a fall in employment .


To sum up, to keep the diversity of languages are is far more than the languages it self themselves, it is also a way to show our respect to multi-culture for multiculturalism, a symbol of a diverse world. We should take our responsibilities responsibility to preserve this precious treasure.

Welcome to share me your advice on my essay or languages diversity, I will appreciate that ^^
Btw, I think the conclusion of the passage was not as good as i want, do you have any other ideas?

Thanks in advance and hope you have a great day!

0* - languages diversity sounds academic to me. I think a clearer way to express it would be - the diversity of languages

1* I think I would prefer just - Whether to help these endangered languages survive or not,...

2* not sure what you mean- an example of creativity?

3* your structure is correct but it would be more usual and mabe clearer to use a hypothetical conditional - if it were discarded ... the inhabitatns would lose..

4* the usual expression is - which would be a great pity.

You have several small errors (this /these, etc) for your level which I think you could probably have corrected yourself by rereading. Although some expressions are a bit unnatural you have used a lot of good language. The expressions used to indicate emphasis and your opinion ( stronly believe, an essential part, a remarkable feature, etc) are particularly impressive. Use of connectors is also very good. 

I think the last paragraph is fine, 'precious treasure' sounds good. The content about mulitculturalism could maybe have been another point in the list of arguments. And use the last paragraph to emphasize the main points. Maybe make it more forceful- I have not the slightest doubt that it is our repsonsiblity to preserve...

Languages diversity - a practice

The relative importance of languages diversity is a frequent topic. Whether to help these endangered languages survive from dangerous situation or not, however, has been a debatable issue. I strongly believed that we should keep a diverse languages world.

Languages, as well as characters, have become an essential part of our culture, it represents a remarkable feature of a country or a place, such as a different lifestyle, a unique way of thinking and a significant ability of creation, which has been developed during for thousands of years to convert into different ideas or habits of languages owner speaker. Once it was discarded or ruined, the inhabitants of this in a specific area will lose their roots heritages, resulting in a great pity loss in humankind.

Nevertheless, as we all know that everyone was is born to have with the right to express their standpoints themselves, while the lost of a dialect reveals a fact in someway that languages in this some areas was exposed to serious threates survival environment, just like endangered species of plants and animals. Obviously it is unfair for to groups the tribes who created these this languages. For instance, in Zhe Jiang province, China, a place region with more than 20 kinds of dialects, I noticed that most of my peers(18~21 years old) cannot speak even one of their dialects that their seniors speak, while the local companies are prefer to choose hire employees with a fluent YongKang dialect, so there is no doubt about the fact that my peers and I are less competitive in finding jobs. 

In addition, languages are also a vital part of national economics, no mater in education or the translation industry. If there are fewer languages or only one language in the world, it's inevitable that state economics will be affected, as well as leading to a fall in employment.

To sum up, to keeping the diversity of languages are is far more important than languages itself themselves, it is also a way to show our respect to multi-culture, a symbol of diverse world. We should take our responsibilities to preserve this precious treasure.

Welcome to share me your advice on my essay or languages diversity, I will appreciate that ^^
BtwBTW, I think the conclusion of the passage was not as good as i want, do you have any other ideas?

Thanks in advance and hope you have a great day!

Excellent essay with few minor errors. Good day!