교정 · 4
The desire of a car
I always want to buy a car because I assume It can satisfy me by providing a private space.
The exponentially high costs of houses makes private spaces lavish.
With an afforded car, I can park anywhere along the sidewalk. Then, the square space where I park my car temporarily belongs to me. And sheltering by the car may eases me without being bothered by someone nor being worried the bad weather outside the car. Also, I can read books, browse webs on my phone with the comfortable poses and great mood.
Hoever, I found that what a car can provide me a public toilet can do as well. Since that, I don't have impulsions buying a car.
---------------------------------------------------
I'VE always wantED to buy a car, because i assume it can satisfy me by providing a private space. ---> you have to add these endings so the words are past tense since your talking about something that been happening for a long time.
With an afforded car, I can park anywhere along the sidewalk. Then, the square space where I park my car, temporarily belongs to me. ---> i crossed out the part in red because its unneeded. What your trying to say can be understood without that part, so its just extra words.
And MY CAR PROVIDES SHELTER, without being bothered by ANYone OR being worried about bad weather.---> this is a better way to say what you were trying to get across. The words you chose before, made your point hard to understand. This is a easier way to say it.
Also, I can read books, browse websITES on my phone with the comfortable poses and A great mood. ---> you have to say "websites" or "the internet" itstead of "webs". Its the pages on the internet that theres more than one of, not the web itself. Theres only one internet. Also the term "comfortable poses" isn't really used in English.
Hoever, I found that what a car can provide me a public toilet can do as well. Since that, I don't have impulsions buying a car. ---> i can exactly tell what you were trying to say here, so i cant correct it. Sorry. Im sorry whatever it is has made you change your mind about wanting a car too lol
Hope this helps! =)
더 빨리 진행하고 싶나요?
이 학습 커뮤니티에 참여하고 무료로 연습해보세요!
집에서 편안하게 언어를 배울 수 있는 기회를 놓치지 마세요. 경험 많은 강사진을 살펴보고 지금 바로 첫 수업을 신청하세요!
오늘 학습 시작하기
