Made-up news: E.T. comes back to Earth, all grown up, willing to annihilate all human beings This's an article's translation from a humorous online newspaper called 'El mundo today' which published fictitious news in the same way 'The Onion' does in The States. http://www.elmundotoday.com/2014/01/e-t-vuelve-a-la-tierra-ya-crecido-dispuesto-a-aniquilar-a-todos-los-humanos/ E.T. comes back to The Earth, all grown up, willing to annihilate all human beings Now he has three rows of teeth and an arachnid body Thirty years after his first and failed incursion to the Earth, E.T. the extraterrestrial has came back to our planet, now fully developed and way passed his larval form, with the intention of massacring all humankind and therefore completing his original mission. At this moment, journalists from around the world are publishing how the adorable alien who filled our hearts with love more than 30 years ago, now is razing Manhattan, in the form of a huge spider, right after landing his spaceship over a kindergarten. 'He's so changed', confirmed to the journalists a UN spokesman this morning as on a screen could be seen the images of the alien climbing the New York skyscrapers and opening them like if they were peanuts in order to eat the humans who were inside and chew them with his three-row teeth. 'The U.S. government has always suspected he was a threat. At the time we wanted to stop him but he run away by bike. It sounds ridiculous now', admitted the U.S. National Security Department chief. 'That little shit who helped him has fucked us'. 'Grrrraaauueerrrggg', is what the witnesses assure the extraterrestrial, who enchanted half of the world, said as a salute when he got off his spaceship. 'Grriiii, griiiiieieieeuuuoooorrrggghhh', added the creature from space who, with his eyes full of kindness, made us believe that even a friendship between beings who come from different worlds were possible and that, in a few days, will have ended with all human life on Earth. In a last and desperate attempt to wake up on E.T. a feeling of humanity that would make him have mercy for us, the U.S. government has reach Elliot, the boy with whom the extraterrestrial established a close friendship bond. When he saw him, the extraterrestrial seemed to recognise him at first, however he ended up ripping him apart into six different pieces.