다양한 영어 선생님을 검색해 보세요...
Mary
TOEFL independent writing (Watching television is bad for children.) Watching TV is a kind of addiction! Nowadays, the fact that children watching for so long TV is one of the most important issues for today’s modern society. It’s the subject of intense debate and this is a question that certainly does not have one correct answer. However, I’m of the point of view that children should not watching TV, because it’s really kind of addiction and also distract them from study. First and foremost, as we know addicting is really harmful for our life. For example, addicted to cigarette or alcohol harmful for our health, also addicting to watching TV leads to forget about anything and any jobs. If children start watching some cartoons, it will be impossible take away them from TV. Besides that, there are several cartoons that have a bad affect on them such as bad attitude. But even though there are different kind of educational TV show, children prefer watching cartoons, so it make a big problem. What I’m trying to say is watching TV could be positive too, but children don’t want to watch such TV shows where teach them. Actually, they want to be free from studying at home and just relax and have fun. Moreover, watching TV distracting children from studying. Actually they just dragging their feet and say I will study later, but this “later” comes so late and they spend so long in front of TV. Of course, I believe that they would like to rest of studying, but I would recommend them to do some sport or playing games. By doing sport our brain gets fresh and our productivity grow up. Whereas, watching cartoon cannot teach us somethings new and useful. For example, if children watching their favorite cartoon, they will worry about hero of the cartoon and it would lead them to be sad if something happened with their favorite hero during the day, and sometimes it just won’t let them concentrate on their studying. My own experience is a good example here. I remember I was 7 years old and really liked watching cartoon. Actually, it had a bad affect on my studying and finally my mother didn’t let me watch cartoon for so long. Now I’m thankful my mom that she encourage me study and only with her helps I attend university and I study pretty good. In conclusion, I would like to emphasize that watching TV cannot be bad all the time, we just should sometimes control our children and encourage them watching good TV shows which are more helpful and avoid them from cartoons which have a bad affect on them.

교정 · 3

0

TOEFL independent writing (Watching television is bad for children.)

Watching TV is a kind of addiction! Nowadays, the fact that children watching for so long TV is one of the most important issues for today’s modern society. It’s the subject of intense debate and this is a question that certainly does not have one correct answer. However, I’m of the point of view that children should not watching TV, because it’s really kind of addiction and also distract them from their studies.
First and foremost, as we know addiction is really harmful for our life. For example, addiction to cigarettes or alcohol is harmful for our health. Also, an addiction to watching TV leads us to forget about our priorities, such as our jobs. When children start watching some cartoons, it can be impossible take them away from the TV. Besides that, there are several cartoons that have a bad effect on them such as bad attitude. But even though there are different kinds of educational TV shows, children prefer watching cartoons, so it makes a big problem. What I’m trying to say is watching TV could be positive too, but children don’t want to watch such TV shows that teach them. Actually, they want to be free from studying at home and just relax and have fun.
Moreover, watching TV distracts children from studying. Actually, they just drag their feet and say I will study later, but this “later” comes so late, and they spend so long in front of the TV. Of course, I believe that they would like to rest from studying, but I would recommend that they to do some sport or play games. By doing a sport, our brain gets fresh and our productivity grows up. Whereas, watching cartoons cannot teach us something new and useful. For example, if children are watching their favorite cartoon, they will worry about the hero of the cartoon, and it would lead them to be sad if something happened with their favorite hero during the day. Sometimes it just won’t let them concentrate on their studying. My own experience is a good example here. I remember I was 7 years old and really liked watching cartoons. Actually, it had a bad effect on my studying, and finally, my mother didn’t let me watch cartoons for so long. Now, I’m thankful for my mom, and that she encouraged me study. Only with her help, I attend university and I study pretty well.
In conclusion, I would like to emphasize that watching TV is not be bad all the time, but we just should sometimes control our children, and encourage them to watch good TV shows, which are more helpful and have them avoid cartoons which have a bad effect on them.
0

TOEFL independent writing (Watching television is bad for children.)

Watching TV is a kind of addiction! Nowadays, the fact that children are watching TV for so long is one of the most important issues in today’s modern society. It’s the subject of intense debate and this is a question that certainly does not have a correct answer. However, I’m of the point of view that children should not watch television, because it’s really a kind of addiction and a distraction from their study.
First and foremost, as we know it, addiction is really harmful for our life. For example, addiction to cigarette or alcohol is harmful for our health, also addiction to television leads to forget about everything including one's job. If children start watching some cartoons, it will be impossible to take them away from the TV. Besides that, there are several cartoons that have a bad effect on them such as bad attitude. But even though there are different kinds of educational TV shows, children prefer watching cartoons, so it makes a big problem. What I’m trying to say is watching TV could be positive too, but children don’t want to watch TV shows that teach them. Actually, they want to be free from studying at home and just relax and have fun.
Moreover, watching TV distracts children from studying. Actually they are just dragging their feet and say 'I will study later', but this “later” comes so late and they spend so long in front of the television. Of course, I believe that they would like to rest from studying, but I would recommend them to do some sport or play games. By doing sport our brain gets refreshed and our productivity increases. Whereas, watching cartoons cannot teach us something new and useful. For example, if children watched their favorite cartoon, they would worry about the hero of the cartoon and it would lead them to be sad if something happened to their favorite hero during the day, and sometimes it just wouldn’t let them concentrate on their studying. My own experience is a good example here. I remember I was 7 years old and really liked watching cartoon. Actually, it had a bad affect on my studying and finally my mother didn’t let me watch cartoon for so long. Now I’m thankful that my mom encouraged me to study and only with her help that I was able to attend university and study pretty good.

In conclusion, I would like to emphasize that watching TV cannot be bad all the time. Sometime we should just control our children and encourage them to watch good TV shows which are more helpful and avoid them from cartoons which have a bad effect on them.


Very well written! With some little corrections :)

더 빨리 진행하고 싶나요?

이 학습 커뮤니티에 참여하고 무료로 연습해보세요!

집에서 편안하게 언어를 배울 수 있는 기회를 놓치지 마세요. 경험 많은 강사진을 살펴보고 지금 바로 첫 수업을 신청하세요!

오늘 학습 시작하기