Funeral
He lost nothing in the war
Except his body
And when he went to in his funeral ceremony
No one knew him
But a woman
Who was looking out from the balcony of her house
Waved at him
With a white handkerchief
And in her other hand
A withered rose
다양한 영어 선생님을 검색해 보세요...
교정 · 3
1
Funeral
He didn't lose in the warExcept his dead body
And when he participated in his funeral ceremony
No one has knew him
But a woman
Who was looking out from the balcony of her house
Waved at him
With a white handkerchief
And in her other hand
A withered rose
---
*didn't lose --- maybe "he lost nothing"? like, "he lost nothing in the war / except his dead body" .... then you wouldn't even have to use the word "dead"
*participated in --- nothing wrong with this, although you could also say "went to" to sound more conversational (which matches the language in the rest of the poem)
---
Overall, Kareem, I like this!
0
Hello Randi, thanks for your comment and correction.. In fact this was my immediate translation of a poem I wrote in Arabic language.
0
Hi Kareem, is this a translation of a poem .... or written directly in English? It's very interesting. I love to see people writing poetry in multiple languages!
더 빨리 진행하고 싶나요?
이 학습 커뮤니티에 참여하고 무료로 연습해보세요!
집에서 편안하게 언어를 배울 수 있는 기회를 놓치지 마세요. 경험 많은 강사진을 살펴보고 지금 바로 첫 수업을 신청하세요!
오늘 학습 시작하기
