교정 · 9
Nice Words
Somewhere,someone is noticing how beautiful people can be.
So do good,
be good.
And stay good to others,
including yourself.
For the very first time,
you never know whose life you're changing.
Hi Samaneh,
That was a very simple yet elegant and uplifting piece of writing. Great job!
As I was reading it, I noticed that you started with an introductory word (Somewhere) which is separated from the rest of the sentence with a comma (,). So, I took the liberty of rearranging some parts of your sentences so that each sentence starts with an introductory word or phrase. Of course, this change is not necessary, but I did it so that it is stylistically consistent if you were to read it aloud.
I substituted "plus" with "including" because the former is a very informal connector which doesn't seem to fit into the overall tone of your piece. There is nothing wrong with using "plus" in casual informal speech, but do consider the register (which includes factors such as your audience, purpose and medium of communication).
I hope this helps you. Once again, I really enjoyed reading your piece.
Nice Words
Somewhere,someone
is noticing how beautiful
people can be.
So do good,
be good.
And stay good
to others, and to yourself. /// I don't think that "plus" has quite the overtones intended here ... :)
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/plus
You never know
whose life you're changing
for the very
first time.
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