what does "fucked me up proper"mean? “This has fucked me up proper,” said Duffield thickly from behind his arms. “This has fucked me up good. I wanted to marry her. I fucking loved her, I did. Fuck, I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.” He jumped up and left the room, sniffing ostentatiously and wiping his nose on his sleeve. “Didn’t I tell you?” Ciara whispered to Strike. “He’s a mess.” “Oh, I don’t know. He seems to have cleaned up his act. Off heroin for a month.” “I know, and I don’t want him to fall off the wagon.” “This is a lot gentler than he would have had from the police. This is polite.”