Song, Jeung Hyeon
I made an English sentence and I need your comment please for grammar.
Following is a sentence that I wrote. Someone says it strange sentence, but is this grammatically correct? Subject is "environment" and verb is "enables". What do you think? I need your comment please.
Although he makes love with her in his dream, we should note that the comfortable and sensual environment that feminine sea provides him enables him to have such dream.
2017년 6월 6일 오전 9:24
답변 · 7
3
Hello Song, it is a very artistic sentence but I would make a couple of amendments.
'Although he makes love with her in his dream, we should note that the comfortable and sensual environment that THE feminine sea provides enables him to have such A dream.'
These small corrections make it grammatically correct without changing your meaning as far as I can tell.
Hope this helps
Bob
2017년 6월 6일
1
It's not 'way off' in terms of grammar, you're missing an article, 'the feminine sea'. Also, using "provides him enables him" is repetitious and missing a comma "provides him, enables him". I've reworded it slightly below.
"Although he makes love to her in his dream, we should note that the comfortable and sensual environment of the feminine sea allows him to have such a dream."
2017년 6월 6일
It's part of my research paper for Hemingway's "Islands in the stream"
2017년 6월 7일
Everything has been corrected!But wanted to say that I like the sentence. Is it part of a story you wrote?I'm curious to know what the complete context is about..m
2017년 6월 6일
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