One way to go I just reviewed your website, it is wonderful! ("very" does not work well with "wonderful" as wonderful is already strong) In the beginning, in order to attract customers, you might want to lower the price, offer more promotions and more advertisements. When you get positive feedback and good reviews from customers, the traffic from the website will increase and orders will increase.

Yes, it is a sales email. ==I have just been looking at your website and thin it's great. "thin", is it "think"?

It's quite well-written but not very natural. Do you man 'review' or just 'had a look at' your website. Is this a sales email? If so.... Dear ____, I have just been looking at your website and thin it's great. I have a few pointers for you to increase traffic. You may want to think about lowering your prices and having more promotions in the beginning as you build your customer base. After receiving good reviews and feedback [no S], your traffic should increase and in turn, your orders. I know this is completely different from your version, but I hope it's useful. Cheers! :)