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The Tim じぁん!!!
It's stormy today. Even though it's pouring, we went out shopping. My sneakers were too small, so I needed a new pair. My coach asked me to join her swimming team next year, but I need to get stronger. Mom decided to sign me up for a gym nearby so I can do physical training every night. I can't wait to try out my new sneakers on the treadmill. My life is getting busier and busier by the day.
2024년 8월 29일 오전 11:12
교정 · 4
1
It's stormy today. Even though it's pouring, we went out shopping. My sneakers were too small, so I needed a new pair. My coach asked me to join her swimming team next year, but I need to get stronger. Mom decided to sign me up for a gym nearby so I can do physical training every night. I can't wait to try out my new sneakers on the treadmill. My life is getting busier and busier by the day.
This is fine but you need to link your ideas better.
2024년 8월 31일
1
It's stormy today. Even though it's pouring, we went out shopping. My sneakers were too small, so I needed a new pair. My coach asked me to join her swimming team next year, but I need to get stronger. Mom decided to sign me up for a gym nearby so I can do physical training every night. I can't wait to try out my new sneakers on the treadmill. My life is getting busier and busier by the day.
It looks good to me. You don't need to make any changes.
2024년 8월 31일
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