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Jie
The pie chart and table provide a glimpse of land degradation worldwide by demonstrating the reasons and percentages of the reasons in different regions, including North America, Europe, and Oceania.
In the pie chart, it is easy to find that over-grazing, deforestation and over-cultivation take nearly equal shares of the causes leading to land degradation, with 35%, 30% and 28% respectively, which add up almost to the whole. There is only 7% for others.
As for the more detailed breakdown by region, Europe has the largest percentage of degraded land area with 23%. Deforestation accounts for 9.8%, followed by over-cultivation and over-grazing with 7.7% and 5.5%, respectively.
The data from Oceania shows much better results than Europe, with only 13% of degraded land area. It is noted that there is no over-cultivation happening in this region, and only 1.7% for deforestation. However, over-grazing accounts for the largest percentage, with 11.3%.
North America is the best performer in this comparison, with only 5% in total. Deforestation, over-cultivation, and over-grazing are at 0.2%, 2.2%, and 1.5%, respectively.
Overall, throughout the entire graph, each region shows a certain degree of land degradation. Europe dominates in the first place, in marked contrast to North America, which is the least affected region.
2023년 4월 14일 오후 7:35
교정 · 2
1
The pie chart and table provide a glimpse (glimpse isn’t a good word - just say “give information about”) the reasons for land degradation globally and in different continents
including North America, Europe, and Oceania. From the pie chart, it can be seen that over-grazing, deforestation and over-cultivation take nearly equal
shares of the causes leading to land degradation, with 35%, 30% and 28%
respectively, with only 7% due to other reasons. As
for the more detailed breakdown by region, Europe has the largest percentage of
degraded land area with 23%. Deforestation accounts for 9.8% of this, followed by
over-cultivation and over-grazing with 7.7% and 5.5%, respectively. The data
from Oceania shows much better results than Europe, with only 13% of degraded
land area. It is noted that there is no over-cultivation happening in this
region, and only 1.7% for deforestation. However, over-grazing accounts for the
largest percentage, with 11.3%. North America is the best performer in this
comparison, with only 5% in total. Deforestation, over-cultivation, and
over-grazing are at 0.2%, 3.3% and 1.5%, respectively. Overall, throughout the
entire graph, each region shows a certain degree of land degradation. Europe
dominates in the first place, in marked contrast to North America, which is the
least affected region.
Again, this is well-written but contains some factual mistakes. You could try to change land degradation to loss of production, reduced productivity etc.
2023년 4월 14일
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Jie
언어 구사 능력
중국어(북경어), 영어, 프랑스어
학습 언어
영어, 프랑스어
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