how to narrow your focus on something?

what's the most thing in your life?

I've never stopped caring about you(2) Then one day, a heavy rainy day, I went to the KenGee Cake instead of the gym. You texted me “what are you doing? I don’t see you around the gym.” And I lied to you that I had stayed up at work. What a coincidence! after doing gym, you passed by the KenGee Cake and found me there. That’s the most embarrassing moment I’ve never had. I sat there, held a cup of café and had nothing to say like a chump, the air was solidified, and you just stared at me, looking quite stunned. “what’s wrong with you?”, you asked. I felt speechless and very ashamed. You became upset and impatient. I suddenly walked out that store and you followed. I eventually told you the secret that I was carrying around that I was gay. You pretended to be shocked and then comforted me “it’s not a big deal, there’re lots of people like you who feel attraction to the same sex.”. Days went on, we got along with each other much better than before, as if nothing had ever happened. But you had never said that you were gay and mentioned anything regarding it until you texted me again couple days ago, although you had kissed me and slept with me during that time. Confessing that you’re homosexual, you said you thought of me and wanted to see me again as I come back to Changsha. Actually, I did really want to give a shot to fix our relationship, but you’re still in marriage. I have no clear idea how to deal with the relationship among you and me and your wife. So I decided to quit. I replied, “Yes I did, I used to love you and you love me too right now, but I’ve changed. It’s over, I’m enjoying my new life here, please stay away from my life.”.

I've ever stop caring you It has been so long since I left Changsha in which I met you. I thought that you would gradually fade away from my mind, because I've always believed that time can cure everything, however sometimes it doesn't work. Every time I was told about you or noticed your updates of QQ status, it reminds me of the whole things between us, it seems like it was just happened on yesterday. From the moment I saw you at gym, as you came up to me and corrected the gesture of my sit-up. I knew, I knew that we’re going to have something. You’re a tall man, with crew cut hair, whose eyes are expressive. It was at that time that you put your hands on my shoulders and then let me up and down over explaining the right actions, I felt myself becoming immersed in your world. My heart was beating while my face was getting little bit of hot and my tongue became a little stiff. That’s awkward, I didn't even know whether you’re straight or gay, and I can’t ask you straightforward because it’s quite rude while I’ll get unexpected results from your reaction. I just tried to go back to normal, and you've been talking many types of subjects all the time, most of them about fitness and training, others about yourself. You were really as fluency as a lecturer, and you did most of the talking. Before we say goodbye I asked for your cell phone number, and you answered very promptly. Afterwards, we've almost met at the same place, The Miracle Gym, every single day. As if all staffs have been settled down ahead of time, we have been getting much more familiar with each other, we talked about everything, and you were also a good joke teller, always made me laugh. It seemed that everything was going well, but I was aware of the problem that I had fallen in love with you, which I would get hurt if you’re straight , having boyfriend, or whatever. I felt a kind of panic and I came to avoid you. Then one day, a heavy rainy day, I went to the KenGee Cake store instead of the gym. You text me “what are you doing? I don’t see you around the gym.” And I lied to you that I had stayed up at work………

could you recommend me some videos or books about English writing?

Part of me I've always been trying to find out who I was and who I really want to become, but I eventually got the results with failures. Honestly, I never used to devote myself into a certain thing, and I didn't even know the exact definition of "persistence". I did lots of things from sales, merchandiser, office clerk and purchaser but none of them has ever been well done. Another thing by which I was haunted for too many years is romantic love. As a gay person,especially under our social circumstance,it's very hard to have the expectation for a much trustful,close as well as consistent relationship. Looking back, I once had a crush on some guys. At that time, however, I was too young without experience to keep our relationship continuous. Nowadays I'm old enough to tackle with the relationship between us. To be unfortunate, you'll never come back to me, and the history is history, the past is the past. It deserves me. It seems to be a little pessimistic to conclude by the means of such a regret and complaint. Actually, it's gonna be useless for my future. Stop it. Still, I'm alive to start a new chapter of my life. I would take someone as my partner and share the rest of my life with him. Also, I hope that we can build something together to enrich our life.

what's subject i should talk about with the English at the first sight?

Do you ever dream of staying away from home?