After this summer, I am going to be a graduate student. I am now in the school which I am going to attend to. I come earlier to help mysely get familiar with the city, the school and my tutor. In practice, I am confused because after I met my tutor, he made me feel that I am a little impatient, he told me some relative research projects that he thought I might be interested in, untill this moment, I cannot decide which one. I almost know nothing about those projects so that I can't just say if I am interested in them or not. Meanwhile, I learn new things very slow.
Am I impatient?
How to know which project I may want to do?
Today, right after my lunch, my mom called me to complain about my younger brother to me. She was so angry that her words tended to go to extreme.
My brother who had just graduated from junior college refused to accept the job suggested by my mother'sister. According to what she said, he thought the not bad salary that job offerd was unbelievable and he still wanted to go out to find a jib with his friends in Hangzhou or to tempter himself. I actually support my brother to find his own way of life instead of following the way my mom offers to him or doing no matter what my mom tells him to do. She always says that she just wants us to suffer less and all she had done, is diong, and wil do is nothing but good for us. And if we don't agree with her, She will be very angry and must say that you definitly will experience bad things and suffer, and then you will regret for not listening to me. It seems her words are everything, are the truth ! Mybe ! But we are young, we need experience not just from her or anyone else's telling but also our own firsthand observations, actions, and operations.
I always say to her that her words seems curses to me sometimes, and she is heartbroken. But what she have said makes me no choice, I have to let her know how I feel, in another words, I just want her to know my true feelings about her words. During this call, I told her my true feeling that I thought she had interrupted my brother's plan for letting him try anything once she knew and she thought it should not be missed. My brother needs a long time to make up his mind to do something he wants to do, finally, he does and becomes unshakeable, all we need to do is giving him encouragement and support him silently even though we know that he might waste a lot of time and fail in the end. That's his choice, he must know what he is gonna experience and is ready to accept whatever it comes. And when he can not bear the grief caused by his choice, he must need our understanding and comfort while those words, "Told you !" "I knew that you couldn't make it, and I was right !" " You just desire it !" or "Give it up, and from now on, listen to me !" ......
She did not agree with me like she always does, and said;" Alright, alright! I can always be wrong and you are always right, so is this time. I am giong to hang up." Just after I said "Ok！“，the conversation was over!
Really! I just want to express my oppinion. But she might do not need it. I know All I need to do is to stand by her and say that she is right, and my brither is foolish enough for not listening to her. I never mean to heart her, but if I don;t say so, I will feel unfair for both my brother and I. We all need to experience, to fail, to suffer; and then to get lessons from our failures. We need to convence ourselves , to grow mentally by experience in the flesh sometimes, and that is something that nothing else can replace!
And I dono't want to tell who is right or wrong!
