Mar 24, 2011 - self control I feel I am losing my temper. I could not control as well as I used to be. I begin to say out my unpleasant feeling, at least in my heart. Even though I didn't spell them out, that’s not a good sign. Today I received the testing stuff mailed by Minh. But didn’t see any test samples. I guess Minh had forgotten to put them inside. Joe told me to tell him immediately. I did. But a while later. He sent out a new email to describe the detailed as if I didn’t elaborate clearly. I doubt it. I really don’t think that’s his own business. As a manager, I really don’t think it’s necessary for him to put so much effort on it. It looks a bit ridiculous. From my point of view, I think he wanted to show himself but the problem is “didn’t he feel what he had done may embarrass his subordinate? Because their English is too poor to describe something.” I think I overreacted too much this time. No matter what he did, let go of him. What I need to care about is not this kind of thing. So smile, keep smiling. It is not worth of feeling uncomfortable at all. I think I can put it in this way – he has nothing to do at this moment since the new project has been taped out in the middle of March. And he thinks the reason why so many people left or are going to leave this group is he didn't give his team members enough care. That’s what he said in public. He will never ever admit there may be some problems in his working or say management style. Most of the members think his management doesn’t work out at all. But he doesn't know. He can never ever take other people’s opinion, which is what I told by a lot of colleagues. But I think one thing I can learn from him is he thinks he can do everything only if he wants to do that. That’s a good attitude. The other day I attended an English corner about business management. There is an idiom – faking it until you make it. To learn from others and be modest all the time. No matter what he does or what he has done, I have to realize he is good at something. So never put something not important into my heart. Now I feel better.

Cynthia's notebook entry: Mar 24, 2011 About Cactus Not being a cactus, why should I be strong? Spare no effort to please myself.

What does this mean? Hey everyone, would you do me a favor? What does the following sentence mean? - I'm still one million bucks shy of being a millionaire. This is a reply when I asked somebody "how are you doing?" It's so hard for me to understand. Could you please help me out? Thanks a lot!

Mar 19, 2011 - Richard I was expecting to have Richard’s class. Since SA told me he wasn’t the full-time teacher here. That’s why I haven’t had his class even I have been here for over a year. But he’s the kindest teacher here, at least to me. I remember when I first met him in the elevator. I thought his name was Paul. Actually at that time I knew few teachers’ name. He smiled and told me he was Richard. I told him I would never forget his name. One day I attended a CC or SC. The teacher, might be Shane, told us there was a teacher who had a twin. And surprisingly that’s Richard. Shane told us the funny thing was Richard spoke British English while his twin brother spoke American English. It’s fantastic that two people have the nearly same faces but spoke with totally different accent. And also they behaved in completely different ways. Later, when I saw Richard again, I asked him his brother’s name. YES, maybe the last CC or SC about Family. He was the teacher in that class. He said “Robert”. In the last last his class, he even remembered me and said, “hey, I thought we would meet in Threshold. Why are you still in UW?” I remember my answer is “actually I would like to stay in UW as long as possible.” That’s true; my English is not as good as what I expected. I don’t think I am good enough to upgrade. Or say I am afraid I would be the worst student in the T level. I don’t know why. I just feel something on him. I think that’s not secret crush but just somebody is really kind to you, you feel comfortable being with him if you are easily moved. I think the teachers here are all willing to help students out; However, Sometimes they are just teachers or say English trainers not friends. The problem right now is I felt somehow nervous when I met him. That was really bad for me. I can’t find a reasonable way to explain myself. That means I behaved and spoke like a stupid student. The same thing happened to Mike. We played badminton once. So he could remember my name too I think. I think it’s very good for a student. We students just have a few teachers so we can easily remember them. But for the teachers, there are thousands of students. It is definitely hard for them to remember everyone; especially the Chinese may look same in a foreigner’s eye. I really hope to change such kind of strange situation. Firstly, it’s a great thing to be remembered; but not a big deal. My goal is to improve my English. So why am I to be nervous? Even I say something wrong; they are supposed to help me out. That’s their job. So, be brave. Secondly, I think the best way to be comfortable with him is to ask for his MSN or any other contact information. The best way to solve problem is to confront it straight away, isn’t it? Of course, he will probably turn me down. It’s not necessary for him to know a Chinese student. So it’s up to him. I am just going to do what I want to do. I just learned an idiom, maybe it is – you have a problem, if you can solve it, why worries? If you can’t solve it, why worries? I think everything may be not going perfectly as what I expect; but at least I can make every effort to do things well. No matter where the destination is.

Mar 18, 2011- not in the mood Even though I already made my decision, I am still feeling very sad. How can I get through this? Who can help me out?

Eternal moment A romantic movie, in which Xu Jinglei is the actress and Li Yapeng is the actor, is based on a TV play of the same name. But the English name of this TV play is “cherish our love forever”, which showed 10 years ago. The film showed us 3 kinds of ending for this two young people. The main characters were called Wen Hui and Yang Zheng. No.1 Location: Bei Jing, China They were married seven years ago. Yang is a senior manager in a large company and Wen is a full time housewife. One day he left home and stay at a business chain hotel which is opposite to his own apartment and spy on Wen’s life. A couple of days passed, he was surprised why Wen didn’t try to find him. He went to the police office and asked whether there was a woman who was searching for her husband. The policemen thought he was a bit crazy. When he felt really disappointed and told his friend Wen was different from the past, he found Wen was also spying on his life. And also he started to know a lot of secret stuff and finally they figured out how much they loved each other. No.2 Location: Shanghai, China They got married but didn't married each other. They had their own families. Yang, a car mechanic, lived in Beijing and his wife decided to divorce. Wen lived in Shanghai and got divorced already with a boy twin. She made a living by selling mobile phones in a consumer electrical shop. After graduated from university for 10 years, their classmates decided to hold a class reunion. They met. When their old classmates found they both were available now, they played a trick on them. They made a reservation at a hotel room and drove Wen and Yang into this room and …. They jumped up and down on the bed and also made some noise to let them misunderstand they already had sex. So that they could be released. Suddenly they thought their love feelings came back. Wen invited him to go home together. A load of tricky things happened that night. And those things drove them crazy and exhausted. Eventually Yang told Wen they could not be together any more. Past was already passed. No.3 Location: Bordeaux, France Being drunk, Wen made a call from France in the small hours. Ten years passed and at this moment Yang found where she was. He was always waiting for her even though he never knew where she was. Next day he resolved to journey to France. But he didn't know what he would face. Wen found her husband had a lover named ChuChu, who is a very young and active girl. Wen cheated ChuChu that Pan(Wen’s husband) invited her to come see Bordeaux and she called herself the secretary of Pan. At last, when Pan found Wen already knew his affair and then he disappeared. Even ChuChu could not find him. ChuChu told Wen she knew her quite a long time ago and Wen’s necklace was chosen by ChuChu. She just pretended she knew nothing. Wen was hurt deeply and Yang asked her to go with him. They were going to leave the next morning. But at that moment, Pan came back. They drank a lot. When Yang said they would leave once again, Wen hesitated to response. Suddenly, I thought, Yang knew she would never belong to him again. After he left, Wen decided to begin a new life with her husband. She found the mobile phone left by Yang while her child (Da Xiang) was playing the phone. She listened to the audio records in that phone and realized he was still beside her even after so many years. I really don’t think the movie is very moving. And also I think it’s just worth watching at home. But I just watched it to kill my time.

First notebook entry: Introducing myself Hi, I want to find someone to exchange language. I can teach you Chinese:) Thank