Lost banlance in life.

Just something for her. It was rainy last night, the weather that my girl friend loved most. It has been almost a year since she passed away, I still missed her very much. I'm a happy person in my daily life, but yesterday I felt so depressed that I even wished to do something stupid, thinking that maybe that is the only way I can met her again. Besides, I've done so many things I regretted in the past, I just cannot stop thinking that I'm a bad person. I don't know if I believe in past or next life, but I do remember that one sunny day, I went to the tomb to see her, it started to rain as soon as I began talking to her. ......

Advice for TOEFL ? I'm going to take my TOEFL test this december, yet don't know how to prepare for it. Can any one give me any advice? I'd be appreciate about that.