ただいま戻りました ３月ぐらいitalkiでいませんでした。今戻りました。うれしいもう一度日本語で書いて、友達に勉強します。進化したい。 After about 3 months i return here. I am very glad because i can write in Japanese and practice with my friends. i want to make progress. 頑張りましょう

Which one? Which one is more painful? Killing or being killed? Which one is more pleasant? Getting an opportunity or taking a chance to others? Which one is harder? Have a broken heart or physical pain? Which one is your choice? Staying and fight till the end or leave to find a better chance? Which one is better? Being a memory or a living being? Which one is agreeable? To ask or be questioned?

I myself do not know my real I Today I came to my last office and see my coworkers. It made me surprised because I found that I had missed them too much. For me, it was really surprising. I consider myself as a very cold person. I did not expect that visiting that office and my coworkers, some of them are not friendly, made me so pleased. It is strange, I myself do not know my real I yet. I wish deep inside I were a better person that I thought.

Am I jealous? Today I thought about myself. Am I jealous? Let me tell my story so you can judge about it. I have been applying for getting a job as a teacher for 4 years. Unfortunately I could not get my desired job. Today someone called me wanted to ask about qualifications and personality of one of my late coworkers whom she did not introduce her to me. They want to employ her as a teacher and need some recommendation. I refused to answer her or even know her name. I was not sure, maybe the fact that she got the opportunity which I always dreamed about it, could affect my judgment and I could not be honest about her. After the call, I thought to myself. Maybe it was not my fear to misjudge her, maybe it was my meanness and jealousy.

Do you open your heart easily? I am an introverted person who keeps all of my problems, feelings and desires inside. I do not talk a lot and make friend hardly. I do not like to talk to my friends or coworkers about myself, my family or other personal issues. Interestingly, when it comes to Skype friends, most of them are foreigners, I can open my heart easier. In this way I can get my problems off my chest. I really feel relieved. It makes me feel better. I hope I could talk to my intimate friends as easily as my pen pals. I wonder why I could trust the foreigners whom I have never seen well than the real friends or coworkers.

Hospitality Yesterday I had a voice chat with my Japanese friend. My friend wanted to introduce his wife to me. I talked to both of them in broken Japanese. It was beyond a chat. It was like an invitation for me. They shared their happiness with me. It was very pleasant. They treated me as a guest or even a relative not a language partner. I felt that I am at their house. I appreciate their hospitality

Once upon a time Once upon a time There was a young lady who lived in a city. Although she had a heart of gold but had lots of problems in her life. One day she decided to be cruel, as the life was cruel to her, she decided to behave as a demon. One day on her way home, she saw an old lady. She said “would you please give me some food. I am old and sick. Please help me” She thought “why should I help her? Nobody helped me when I had problems.” She said “no” But suddenly she changed her mind and opened her bag and gave her all she had. She thought to herself “why did I help her? Maybe the human heart still beats in my chest. Although I have lots of problems but I do not want to change my feelings. I do not want to be a demon.” End

鬼になることが出来ませんでした。 昔昔、あるの日、お嬢さんは、住んでいました。お嬢さんは問題がたくさんありました。あるの日自分で考えました。 ”私は優しい人ですけど、たくさん問題があります。どうして？もういい人になることががほしくない、私は鬼になりたいです。” これから、うちえ、帰りました、途中、おばあさんを見ました。おば差案は言いました。”私は病気ですから、調子は悪いです。食べ物があげていただえませんか？” お嬢さんは考えました。”私は手伝うことがほしくない、誰も私に手伝いませんでしたから、”それから言いました”いいえありません。” でも、ふとに、考えを変わって、かばんから、おかしを出て,おばあさんにあげました。 お嬢さんは考えました”どうしてこのおばあさんを手伝いましたか？私は鬼になりことが出来ません。まだ私の心中で人間の心はあります。もう鬼になりたくない。問題があるけど、私は私の気持ちを変わりたくない。” めでたしいめでたしい Once upon a time There was a young lady who lived in a city. Although she was kind but has lots of problems in her life. One day she decided to be cruel, as the life was cruel to her, she decided to behave as a demon. One day on her way home, she saw an old lady. She said “would you please give me some food. I am old and sick. Please help me” She thought “why should I help her? Nobody helped me when I had problems.” She said “no” But suddenly she changed her mind and opened her bag and gave her all she had. She thought to herself “why did I help her? Maybe the human heart still beat in my chest. Although I have lots of problems but I do not want to change my feelings. I do not want to be a demon.” End

how do you get over it Recently i have faced some problems that really worn me out. Those problems made me stop my favorite hobby and overshadowed my study of foreign languages. For me, there is no reason left, no power to continue and the worst thing is that i have to keep my feelings inside. how would you get over it, If you were in my shoes?