I know that feeling too. Once I visited a massage therapist. She worked at her home. I had hoped to get pleasure of relaxation but it turned out to be such a painful treatment that I almost cried. I was a 29 years old man by the way. She massaged me with her elbows pressing with all her weight and trying to focus her dread-giving efforts on the parts of me that pained the most. Well yes, she was a doctor actually, not a provider of pleasure driven services. But for the time of the session I forgot all the annoying buzzing thoughts I had before 😊 So I recommend you to try some more intensive ways rather than a light massage or meditation. Maybe sport games