dependence on the reward. social training from childhood. it is no longer clear what I want. carrot and stick. how to become strong and lonely. to be not successful but feeling. the ego is competition. then you are proud, then you regret. and constant fear and race. I tried different options: didn't work at all and worked a lot. and in both cases I ate and lived. only when I worked a lot did I feel very bad. probably only children in some countries die of hunger now. that is, the question of survival has long been removed. everything else is ego play.