冬去春来
Hi. I just wrote a short composition. I will appreciate it if someone, native speakers will be the best, can help me modify it and make it sound more natural. Thanks for reading my post. Alf was a dustman but he was too embarrassed to say anything to his wife about his job. One Friday morning, Alf was collecting rubbish as usual with his three colleagues. After finishing their work in Mrs. Smith’s house, they arrived at Mrs. Frost’s House. However, a coincidence was that Alf’s wife was visiting Mrs. Frost at that time. Alf had no idea about that, for Alf’s wife met with Mrs. Frost in a cooking club only yesterday but they soon became good friends as they found that they had a lot of common interests. When Alf was just getting out of the dustcart to collect rubbish, he happened to catch sight of his wife who was leaving Mrs. Frost’s house. He was so shocked that he immediately came back into the dustcart. To avoid being recognized by Alf’s wife, Alf and his fellow dustmen decided to hid in the dustcart until Alf’s wife left. Alf even covered his face with a mask which was originally used to protecting them from dust. But Alf’s wife seemed to really enjoy the conversation with Mrs. Frost and forgot the time. They chatted there for over 30 mins. The strange layover of the dustcart seemed to attract Alf’s wife’s attention. She came towards the dustcart to see what was going on, but the dustcart suddenly drove away. Finally, Alf’s secret has been kept but he also got fined for not cleaning Mrs. Frost’s house.
Feb 16, 2021 8:34 AM
Corrections · 1
Hi. I just wrote a short composition. I will appreciate it if someone, native speakers will be the best, can help me modify it and make it sound more natural. Thanks for reading my post. Alf was a dustman but he was too embarrassed to say anything to his wife about his job. One Friday morning, Alf was collecting rubbish as usual with his three colleagues. After finishing their work in Mrs. Smith’s house, they arrived at Mrs. Frost’s House. However, a coincidence was that Alf’s wife was visiting Mrs. Frost at that time. Alf had no idea about that, for Alf’s wife met with Mrs. Frost in a cooking club only yesterday but they soon became good friends as they found that they had a lot of common interests. When Alf was just getting out of the dustcart to collect rubbish, he happened to catch sight of his wife who was leaving Mrs. Frost’s house. He was so shocked that he immediately came back into the dustcart. To avoid being recognized by Alf’s wife, Alf and his fellow dustmen decided to hid in the dustcart until Alf’s wife left. Alf even covered his face with a mask which was originally used to protecting them from dust. But Alf’s wife seemed to really enjoy the conversation with Mrs. Frost and forgot the time. They chatted there for over 30 mins. The strange layover of the dustcart seemed to attract Alf’s wife’s attention. She came towards the dustcart to see what was going on, but the dustcart suddenly drove away. Finally, Alf’s secret has been kept but he also got fined for not cleaning Mrs. Frost’s house.
Its a nice composition, letters were well spelled but you used Alf's name so many times. you should the pronoun HE/ to replace the noun ALF noun
Feb 16, 2021 9:49 AM
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冬去春来
Language Skills
Chinese (Mandarin), English
Learning Language
English