Daniel
Probably the most important purpose of the current education system is to provide students with the necessary skills in order to accomplish a wide range of task over the course of their careers. Currently, it is focused on work experience programmes and the support of careers advice to support the students to do the correct choice. Based on these options, there is a need to shed light on which one is more relevant. Work experience programmes is an excellent choice for those who need to know beforehand if what they have decided to study is what they expect to do in their life. As a result of this, companies and colleges have signed an agreement where students can participate in this project. However, there are some drawbacks due to some experts believe that they offer a temporary view instead a real one. As far as it is concerned, the students have always been claiming for someone who could answer their doubts on which career to choose and the real chances to get a valued job after finishing their studies. To fulfil this demand, careers advice may offer them the pros and cons related to their choices and detailed information about what they are going to face in a daily basis. No one would dispute that these options are essential for students nowadays. Suffice is to say that work experience programmes give the students the chance to participate in a real context where they can develop their abilities and skills. Therefore, it is certainly true that this method is effective to help young people to find the job of their lives.
Feb 28, 2021 6:22 PM
Corrections · 6
Probably the most important purpose of the current education system is to provide students with the necessary skills in order to accomplish a wide range of tasks over the course of their careers. (Is this sentence relevant) Currently, it (what is 'it'?) is focused on work experience programmes and careers advice to support the students to make the correct choice. Based on these options, there is a need to shed light (this is too informal) on which one is more relevant. (This sentence says nothing) Work experience programmes are an excellent choice for those who need to know beforehand if what they have decided to study is what they expect to do in their life. As a result of this, companies and colleges have signed agreements whereby students can participate in these projects. However, there are some drawbacks due to the fact that some experts believe that they offer a temporary view instead of a real one. As far as it (what is 'it'?) is concerned, the students have always been asking for someone who can answer their doubts on which career to choose and give an idea of the real chance of getting a well-paid job after finishing their studies. To fulfil this demand, careers advice may offer them the pros and cons related to their choices and detailed information about what they are going to face on a daily basis. No one would dispute that these options are essential for students nowadays. (What does this sentence add?) Suffice to say that work experience programmes give the students the chance to participate in a real context where they can develop their abilities and skills. Therefore, it is certainly true that this method is effective to help young people to find a job that is suitable for them.
I assume the question is something like: Some people feel that taking part in work experience gives students the best idea of which career to choose, whereas others think that obtaining careers advice is more helpful. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. There is some good language in this. The number of words in each paragraph is about 73/69/73/61. This shows the introduction and conclusion are too long, and the body paragraphs are too short. You don't really explain why work experience is helpful, and in fact you say 'experts' feel it isn't a good idea. In your conclusion you say that work experience is best, but you don't compare it with careers advice. Concentrate on thinking of one or two real ideas on each side and explaining and supporting them.
February 28, 2021
Probably the most important purpose of the current education system is to provide students with the necessary skills needed to accomplish a wide range of tasks over the course of their careers. Currently, it is focused on work experience programmes and the support of careers advice to enable (1) students to make the correct choice. Based on these options, there is a need to shed light on which one is more relevant. Work experience programmes are an excellent choice for those who need to know beforehand if what they have decided to study is what they expect to do on a day to day basis. As a result of this, companies and colleges have signed an agreement where (2) students can participate in this project. However, there are some drawbacks, as some experts believe that this offers a temporary view, instead of a real one. As far as I'm concerned, students have always needed someone who can address their doubts on which career to choose, and which programme offers a real chance of getting a valued job after finishing their studies. To fulfil this demand, careers advice may offer them certain pros and cons related to their choices, and detailed information about what they are going to face in the workplace. No one would dispute that these options are essential for students nowadays. Suffice is to say, work experience programmes give students the chance to participate in a real working context where they can develop their abilities and skills. Therefore, it is certainly true that this method is effective in helping young people find the most suitable job for them.
1) You could change the verb to avoid repetition 2) or 'in which'. You write very well!
February 28, 2021
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