[Deactivated user]
I took this photo when I was on my back home from shopping. I was sitting at the back of the bus, listening to some music and chatting with a friend when a young woman and her little daughter got in. As there were a lot of empty seats on the bus, the girl began roaming around. She would jump from one seat to the other to look outside through the windows. For a moment, I looked up and saw two big, dark eyes staring at me. The girl, hiding her face behind the seat, was curiously looking at me. The look in her beautiful, naughty eyes made me smile. Getting tired of the long ride and the monotonus silence, she rested her head on her mom's lap and put her feet against the window. She did it so carefreely that I thought for a moment, how nice it would be if I could do the same without drawing attention to myself. A few moments later, she fell into a deep sleep. It looked as if nothing in the world could storm her sweet dreams; no regrets about the past, no worries about the future, just an absolute freedom from whatever that ties and imprisons the soul.
Feb 17, 2021 8:46 AM
Corrections · 4
I took this photo when I was on my back home from shopping. I was sitting at the back of the bus, listening to some music and chatting with a friend when a young woman and her little daughter got in. As there were a lot of empty seats on the bus, the girl began roaming around. She would jump from one seat to the other to look outside through the windows. For a moment, I looked up and saw two big, dark eyes staring at me. The girl, hiding her face behind the seat, was curiously looking at me. The look in her beautiful, naughty eyes made me smile. Getting tired of the long ride and the monotonus silence, she rested her head on her mom's lap and put her feet against the window. She did it so carefreely that I thought for a moment, how nice it would be if I could do the same without drawing attention to myself. A few moments later, she fell into a deep sleep. It looked as if nothing in the world could storm her sweet dreams; no regrets about the past, no worries about the future, just an absolute freedom from whatever that ties and imprisons the soul.
Very beautiful 💚 You took me to the time and place with your words!
February 17, 2021
I took this photo when I was on my back home from shopping. I am sitting at the back of the bus, listening to music and chatting with a friend when a young woman and her little daughter gets in. There are a lot of empty seats on the bus and so the girl begins roaming around. She leaps from one seat to another to look outside the windows. I looked up briefly/for a moment and see two big, dark eyes staring at me. The girl, hiding her face behind the seat, curiously looks at me. The beautifully daring look in her eyes makes me smile. Getting tired of the long ride and the monotonus silence, she rests her head on her mom's lap and puts her feet against the window. She does this so carefreely that I think for a moment about how nice it would be if I could do the same without drawing attention to myself. A few moments later, she falls into a deep sleep. It looks as if nothing in the world could storm her sweet dreams; no regrets about the past, no worries about the future, just an absolute freedom from whatever that ties and imprisons the soul.
Lovely descriptive writing. I am just thinking it might be better if in another tense so the reader feels more in the moment. In descriptive writing often we use present tense even if it’s a past event. We use present tense so it seems like the whole event is happening again, not just for you but also the reader.
February 17, 2021
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