Sabrina
Hello everyone :) I’m an English learner in Taiwan and currently preparing for IELTS. I would very much like to improve my writing skills and I’ve begun to do some practices. I’ll be posting some of my practice articles. If anyone could give me some advice or make some corrections, that would be a great help for me. Thank you very much! Here is the first article Theme: Internet Use in Europe A glance at the two figures given, there are some apparent contrast between the number of internet users and the prevalence of online shopping in these countries. As we dive into the data, we can see that the number of internet users in these 5 countries were all climbing, however, at a different rate. It is obvious that UK’s number has been at the top throughout 1995 to 2004 with its number rising from 16 millions to 41 millions. Following second yet far behind was Germany, with its number growing from 5 millions in 1995, which is 11 millions less than UK’s, to 15 millions in 2004. The numbers of the remaining countries, Switzerland, France and Spain, all sustained a slow growth and didn’t pass 10 millions even in 2004. As for the prevalence of internet shopping, UK was still in the place of number one in 2004, yet this time was followed by Spain as a close second. By cross-examining the two figures, there is an interesting phenomenon worth pointing out. Although Spain had the least number of internet users, internet shopping was more popular among their citizens than among Germans.
Oct 14, 2020 5:03 AM
Corrections · 1
er in Taiwan and currently preparing for IELTS. I would very much like to improve my writing skills and I’ve begun to do some practices. I’ll be posting some of my practice articles. If anyone could give me some advice or make some corrections, that would be a great help for me. Thank you very much! Here is the first article Theme: Internet Use in Europe A glance at the two figures given, there are some apparent contrast between the number of internet users and the prevalence of online shopping in these countries. As we dive into the data, we can see that the number of internet users in these 5 countries were all climbing, however, at a different rate. It is obvious that UK’s number has been at the top throughout 1995 to 2004 with its number rising from 16 millions to 41 millions. Following second yet far behind was Germany, with its number growing from 5 millions in 1995, which is 11 millions less than UK’s, to 15 millions in 2004. The numbers of the remaining countries, Switzerland, France and Spain, all sustained a slow growth and didn’t pass 10 millions even in 2004. As for the prevalence of internet shopping, UK was still in the place of number one in 2004, yet this time was followed by Spain as a close second. By cross-examining the two figures, there is an interesting phenomenon worth pointing out. Although Spain had the least number of internet users, internet shopping was more popular among their citizens than among Germans.
Looking at the two figures, there are some contrasts between the number of internet users and the prevalence of online shopping in these countries. These studies show internet usage from the year 1995 through 2004. As we dive into the data, we can see that the number of internet users in these 5 countries rose, however at different rates. The UK’s usage was the highest, rising from 16 million to 41 million. Second highest was Germany, with usage growing from 5 million to 15 million. The remaining countries, Switzerland, France, and Spain, all experienced slow growth, never passing 10 million. As for the prevalence of internet shopping, the UK was in first place in 2004, followed by Spain as a close second. This is an interesting paradox: although Spain had the least number of internet users, their internet shopping was very high.
October 15, 2020
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