Excellent!! I was so impressed!
とても上手(じょうず)ですね!
I noticed small tiny things.
新読→新聞(しんぶん)
こべ→こうべ(神戸)
パンとたまごを食ます→食べます
ラジオを聞ます→聞きます
One little thing I would like to advise you is
about「た」.
If you write the right part of 「た」a bit smaller and centered, it would be nicer!