Apoorva
The Impatient farmer Once upon a time, there lived a farmer. He who sowed the rice on his farm and was waiting for ploughing. Diurnally, he used to visit the farm to check whether the seeds had sprouted or not. Finally, one day the seeds germinated. Eventually, the farmer happily returns home. Then he told his wife this good news. Both of them started daydreaming that they'll have a rich harvest; then they will be prosperous. As time passes, the farmer was waiting for the growth of saplings. Being impatient one day, the farmer pulled up the plantlets a bit from the soil. Happily, returned home and told his deed. Then his wife admiringly said," Well done! You did a great job." However, the next morning, the young man went back to the field. But this time he cried out by seeing the destroyed farm and said, "Oh God! What do I do? If I wouldn't be impatient this situation would not have arrived." Moral: Be patient and allow time to do it wonders.😇
Nov 5, 2021 3:07 PM
Comments · 2
Hi Apoorva! This is pretty good, but there are a couple of things that I would change. Most of the corrections are about context. The more advanced in English you become, the more aware you are that certain words are only used in certain situations. It becomes easier to know when to use certain words the more you practice the language. Your paragraph is very good, and I am being very picky. First, I rarely hear "diurnally" used in everyday life. When I looked it up, it seems to usually describe an animal's behavior pattern. For this kind of situation, we usually say, "every day" since it's kind of expected that he's checking his seeds during the day and not at night. Second, you can say dream instead of daydreaming. Daydreaming usually happens when you're bored and to escape your boredom, you escape reality and daydream. In this context, the couple are happy and are anticipating or dreaming about their rich harvest. Third, instead of saying "would not have arrived," a better phrase would be "would not have happened" or "would never have happened." Lastly, I did notice that this is mostly written in the past tense, but it sometimes shifts to the present tense. In English, stories are only told in one tense. The tense choice is up to the writer, but it must be one tense or else it can confuse the reader. The exception to this is when writing dialogue. I hope this was helpful.
November 8, 2021
The impatient farmer Once upon a time, there was a farmer who sowed his farm with rice and was waiting for ploughing. Diurnally, he used to visit the farm to check whether the seeds had sprouted or not. Finally, one day the seeds germinated and the farmer happily returned home. He told his wife this good news and both of them started daydreaming that they'd have a rich harvest which will make them wealthy. The farmer was waiting for the growth of saplings. Being impatient one day, the farmer pulled up some of the plantlets from the soil. Happily, he returned home and told his wife what he did, then his wife admiringly said," Well done! You did a great job." However, the next morning, the young man went back to the field, but this time he cried out by seeing the destroyed farm and said, "Oh God! What did I do? If I hadn't been impatient this event wouldn't have happened." Moral: Be patient and allow time to do its wonders.😇 It was perfect Apoorva! Next time try to share your correction-related posts in the exercise part! Good luck!
November 5, 2021