Ajeng
Help me with my translation result?

First of all, I'm sorry for my poor English, I'm currently working on it ehehe. My name is Ajeng and I live in Indonesia. I have a text that needs to be checked by english native speaker. I probably made too much grammatical mistakes, you don't need to make a "new version" of my translation, you can just leave me some comments or suggestions. Would you help me? pretty please? Thank you.

 

SOLO

 

“Solo is the third modern city after Jakarta and Bandung.” said one of the visitors of Radya Pustaka Museum, Rachmad Bahari. Solo is known as an exotic city rich with tradition and considered as a safe and comfortable city. Besides, Solo is known as a low-cost destination. Solo is a miniature representation of Indonesia. This city’s history, culture and its ecotourism attractions and also cuisines are so rich that other cities’ as not complete as them. Solo with its surrounding districts or known as Soloraya is a destination that now is taken into account by the tourism industry.

 

Solo has two palaces that have cultural roots in its people. Keraton Solo or in Javanese language called Keraton Hadiningrat and Pura Mangkunegaran. Solo also knows as pedestrians city. The city walks along Slamet Riyadi Street which built in 2007 becomes a convenient facility to enjoy the view of downtown Solo. Try to walk along the city walk from Purwosari in the west to Gladak in the east. There you will find three historic buildings lined up: Loji Gandrung (the official residence of the Mayor of Surakarta), Radya Pustaka Museum, R Maladi Stadium (PON I Monument) as well as several modern shopping centers that can be reached by walking.

 

When you walking around in Solo at day or at night you can see many food stalls spread throughout the streets. They sell food in tarps-roof stall, carts or in a traditional food stall called warung hik. This place sells fantastically cheap foods and drinks; especially a food called nasi kucing or literally translated as cat rice. But don’t get it wrong, nasi kucing is rice with chili sauce and small milkfish wrapped in paper or banana leaves. Small portion of nasi kucing only cost Rp. 1,000 (11 US cents). Beside nasi kucing, Solo has other culinary icons such as tengkleng, lamb curry with clear broth without coconut milk and Sate/Satay Buntel. Both of those foods are made from lamb.

 

*(Sate/satay buntel: It is made from minced mutton. The minced fatty mutton is seasoned with garlic and pepper then you wrap them with thin fat or muscle membrane and wrap around a bamboo skewer before you roast them.)

 

 

Nov 28, 2015 1:13 PM
Comments · 1

Okay lets start with good things first

Great:

1. I understood this entire passage. If this is your first try this is very good.

2. For the most part you used vocabulary terms correctly and effectively.

3. Your writing created great imagery and was informative.

okay let's get to some of the mistakes

Mistakes:

1. The most common mistake you have is using the correct tense for word. For example in the first paragraph in the third sentence you use said "cuisines". Cuisine can be both singular and plural. Sentences like "America has different indigenous cultural cuisines" is a context where you want cuisine to have the s at the end. So the sentence needs to be adjusted depending on what you want to convey. If Solo has many different cuisine options (French, Indian, etc) then cuisines can be used. But if Solo mainly has monocultural food just use cuisine. Personally I would write the sentence "This city's history, culture, ecotourism attractions, and cuisine are so rich that no other city can compare".

2. Sometimes you need commas and in other places you don't. When you start listing things don't use commas then write "and" and continue to list things. List what you want and the last item you list should have this "culture, attractions, and cuisine". There are a few instances where that rule has exceptions. Then the 2nd sentence in the 2nd paragraph. It needs to be clearer that you're either providing the alternative names of the 1st palace in Javanese, or that you're naming the first palace and identifying the 2nd. And if you say there are two palaces you need to give the names of both.

3. First sentence needs correction. When you give dialogue the period comes at the very end and there's a comma after "said". So it should read "One of the visitors to the museum, Mr. Bahari said, "Solo is the 3rd modern city after Jakarta and Bandung".

November 28, 2015