What do you mean with somebody's words? I am not sure what you mean. I am not easily insulted. People can say what they want, it is a free country. (It is here at least.) If I am angry, I actually, and people might think this is strange, I actually see it as my own weakness. I think I should be more stoic, and more confident. In general I could not care less what people think of me. I am really independant, and indivualistic. Let the words flow of you, and do not let them touch you. Put yourself above those words. Don't care what other people think of you. Think of them as stupid and ignorant. Yes, I know I am a little 'arrogant' in this. But sometimes that is a good quality.
This is from the curriculum for a class I help teach to kids. There's certainly worse advice:
... Say “I feel angry because I need/value _____.” This leads us to the empowered stance of being responsible for getting our needs met.
Anger is a gift because it signals us to pay attention to what it is we really want – a beautiful universal need like respect, kindness, choice, or to be heard. We become empowered by our self-knowledge and can then decide how best to meet our need, knowing we can never get a need met at someone else’s expense. From that place we can then make a request of ourself or another.
* Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. Buddha
* Anger deprives a sage of his wisdom, a prophet of his vision.
Judaism. Talmud, Pesahim 66b
* Why, sir, do you get angry at someone
Who is angry with you?
What are you going to gain by it?
How is he going to lose by it?
Your physical anger brings dishonor on yourself;
Your mental anger disturbs your thinking.
How can the fire in your house burn the neighbor's house
Without engulfing your own?
Hinduism. Basavanna, Vachana 248
* Do not let the sun go down on your anger.
Christianity. Ephesians 4.26
By the time you read this message you will probably not be angry at all but I think this is a personal issue, whereas there are people who prefer talking to someone (I think it helps), other people keep problems for themselves and there are those who start arguing with the person who hurted them.
"Theory" says that we should stay calm, think about it twice and try to see if the other person (although being wrong) had a reason to be upsed with you.
"Reality" says that it is not so easy to control ourselves.
i'm talking with my best friend
Hi In my case I try to talk to the person Im angry with, and tell him/her what she/he said that made angry.