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Funny stories in English.

Hello friends,

Let's share some funny, interesting stories and enjoy the last day of classic italki:)


Three turtles. 

Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain. The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, "Go home and get the umbrella." The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my coffee."

"We won't," the other two promised. Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee." Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."


Jul 31, 2016 10:35 AM
Comments · 22

That's a good joke Leyla... Thanks for making me laugh.


I went to the website of a popular American magazine called "Reader's Digest".

This website has many many "clean" jokes.


Here are a few exapmples:


The meanings of short email statements

I have a question. = I have 18 questions.

I’ll look into it. = I’ve already forgotten about it.

I tried my best. = I did the bare minimum.

Happy to discuss further. = Don’t ask me about this again.


Your Work E-mail is What?

I’m employed at a computer security company and have a colleague whose name is M. Alware. His e-mail address is


The definition of a kiss

In math: Two divided by nothing.

In physics: The contraction of 
the mouth due to the expansion 
of the heart.

In accounting: It’s a credit, because it is profitable when returned.

In economics: A thing for which the demand is higher than the 

July 31, 2016

I like your story, Leyla. It made me smile.


And if I'm not mistaken, part of the humour is the obvious fact that real-life turtles don't drink coffee, have conversations, use umbrellas, make requests, strike bargains or issue ultimatums. That's what makes it funny.

August 1, 2016

After two years the coffee is going to cool down lol

July 31, 2016
HAHA,this story is so funny.
August 2, 2016
Funny tale! You made me smile! :)
August 1, 2016
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