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Flowee
ielts writing task1: pie chart

http://ielts-up.com/images/ac1.png

the pie charts illustrate the figure of children according to gender participating in 6 leisure activities

It is obvious from the graphs that the percentage of young males playing computer games in their free time is the highest, while dacing was the most favourable activity for young females.

To be more detailed, there was a third of boys playing computer games which was as twice as girl with 18%. Additionally, dancing was the most popular activity for girls with 27%, whereas the number of males playing baseball was roughly equal with 26%. It is noticeable that the proportion of girls reading was ten times higher than boys with 21% and 2% respectively. Interestingly, skate boarding and listening to music attracted both genders with a mere 11% and 10% accordingly. Finally, an insignificant of females doing gymnastics with 11%, while the variety of males playing soccer was slightly higher, at 17%

Aug 11, 2016 5:16 AM
Comments · 2

Hi Flowee

A couple of points for you to consider.

'The two pie charts illustrate the percentages/ratios/proportions for...' 

Try to use the correct word 'percentage' in your introduction. If you want to avoid repetition, always try to learn three words that have the same meaning. If you need to use the word for a 4th time, you can repeat the first word. To give an example, decrease, drop, decline. Use a good thesaurus to help you. 

Overall, (these activities) were found in both groups. (These sports) were only found in the diagram for the boys whereas (these) were unique for the girls. A good summary is general and identifies trends. An easy way to identify trends in pie charts is to ask what is the same or different.  

I hope that helps.

August 11, 2016

Pretty good summary. 

 skate boarding and listening to music attracted both genders with a mere 11% and 10% accordingly.

with a mere 1% separating both genders is more appropriate.



August 11, 2016
Flowee
Language Skills
English, Vietnamese
Learning Language
English