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Peggy
Looking for someone to correct and give helpful feedback on this translation I did

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Kp-EMSUHmA


I translated this opening's song, which is in the comments of that video on the top.

If anyone would like to be helpful, please correct and or give helpful feedback on my translation.

Trying to improve my Japanese, after all.

I was not native nor am I now to Japanese language when I translated that song, just used several sites and a Japanese dictionary to make the translation.

Again, helpful feedback is appreciated!

Thank you~! :)

Sep 10, 2016 12:05 AM
4
0
Comments · 4
あぁ 夢見たキミとの未来を この胸に 抱きしめて明日へ So GUSH!!
Aah!, Go forward with the future we dereamed.

そうさ燃えろよ 痛みを胸に
Yes get heated more! but don't forget this pain.

今 走り出せ 君のもとへと
Now start running and get you!
-
導くままに 大切な物を
As your life leads.  the important thing.
-
今 羽ばたけよ E-ro Bomb!
Now fly! Erobomb! Erobomb!
-
もっと吠えろよ 痛み忘れて
Cry more out! forget the pain!

今 熱くなれ この愛を信じて
Now get heated more! believe in this love
-
感じるままに 大切な何か
Follow your heart. somethig special
-
今 飛び込めよ E-ro Born!
Now go forward, Ero-Born Ero-Born!
-
あぁ 夢見たキミとの未来を この胸に 抱きしめて明日へ So GUSH!!
Aah!, Go forward with the future we dereamed.

note: My English is not perfect.
September 11, 2016
この広い宇宙の蒼い真ん中で
探し続けてた愛を見つけたぜ!
俺の熱い悲鳴が聞こえてるかい?
空に、雲に、君に、この思いをぉ~~~!

ぶつけるさ!

だけど君は気付いていないね、
???

曖昧な言葉ばかりじゃ届かない、

そうさ、吼えろよ、
痛みはすべて、
今熱くなれ、

えろぼーん、えろぼーん、

感じるままに、
大切な何か、
今飛び込めよ、

えろぼーん、えろぼーん、ああ、

夢見た君との未来をこの胸に
抱きしめて明日へ、

????





そうさ、燃えろよ、
痛みを胸に、
今走り出せ!
君の元へと、

導くままに、
大切なものを
今羽ばたけよ、
えろぼーん、えろぼーん、

もっと燃えろよ、
痛みはすべて、
今熱くなれ、
この愛を信じて、

感じるままに、
大切な何か、
今飛び込めよ

えろぼーん、えろぼーん、ああ、

夢見た君との未来を
この胸に抱きしめて明日へ、

?????
September 10, 2016
この広い宇宙の青い真ん中で
In the middle of the blue universe
-
探し続けてた愛を見つけたぜ
I found the love that I've been looking for.
-
俺の熱い悲鳴が聞こえてるかい
Can you hear my hot scream?
-
空に 雲に キミに この想いを ブツけるさ!! 
to the sky, to the clouds, to you, tell them what I feel!
-
だけどキミは気づいていないね そう Love&GAME
But you don't notice notice anything, that's right! This LOVE & GAME
-
曖昧な言葉ばかりじゃさ 届かない
It won't reach you only these unclear words!
-
そうさ吠えろよ 痛み忘れて
Yes, you shout! and wipe away the pain!
-
今 熱くなれ E-ro Bomb!
Now get heated more! erobomb! Erobomb!
-
感じるままに 大切な何か 
Follow your heart. somethig special
-
今 飛び込めよ E-ro Born!
Now go forward, Ero-born! Ero-born!
-

September 11, 2016

Hello !  I have over 5 years of experience editing and commenting on the writing of Japanese translated to English.  I have worked on professional documents, reserach papers, legal briefs, patent applications, medical research papers, business marketing documents etc.  

Please message me or find me under the community teachers!   Happy to help ! 

September 10, 2016
Peggy
Language Skills
English, Japanese
Learning Language
Japanese