Maybe it is to blame the way you learn English.. Don't consider it's a burden.. Instead it's a hobby, and enjoy some English songs and teleplays 

Hello, Mariya! I liked the second part("or maybe myself") more. The problem is you don't hate yourself enough to collect yourself and try it again and again and again. Try to hate yourself a little bit more. It works. I tried it.

I have felt the same recently..But I'm recovering now) I'm not afraid to make silly mistakes anymore. I don't care! or I don't mind( Brit.) Itaki helped a lot, plus, my own methods. Let's practice Skype chat!