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Joling小玲
Family or dream? How will u handle it, my friends?

This question has made me confused all the time even I have made my decision to go abroad. It still fights badly in my heart every time I think about it.

 

I’m 24 now, it seems the perfect age to fight for my dreams. Yeah, many of my foreign friends told me that it is just my best time to persuit what I want, be the one I wanna be and live the way I like.

But, you know, my parents, they are getting to their sunset, I mean they are over 60 years old now. So it is so hard for me to choose. Stay by their side, marry someone, have a baby and a stable life so that I can repay their love for raising me up. I really want to , but I just cann’t, I cann’t let my dream, my ideal go away.

 

I haven’t got a relationship so far, maybe it is fate that I should go further to find my love. Or because my idea of love and life are so different from the traditional or most chinese people here. I want to be a Dink, I want to raise cats and dogs all my life time, I wanna be a vet and help more animals in my limited life time, I want to spend more time to see the various and gorgeous world, I want to learn piano and music formally to make up the regret in my childhood…

 

I have many things wanna do, but so less time to make they true. If I decide to go abroad, then it means I will have less time to stay with my parents or just can come back home once a year. I have a plan for my dream to be actualized, at least 8 years. And I need to collect a plenty of money to pay for my long plan. So it is kind of hard to use money to give my parents happiness in the next 8 years. And after 8 years, they are 70 , which means the time I can take care of them gets poorly less. You know, if I do like this I would be a unfilial daughter in the thought of chinese people. I don’t know how western people think. But in china, it is.

 

They give me so much, so much love, so much support, so much forgiveness…

Alas~I think I’m lucky because I know what I want, but just so hard to make it perfect.
Sep 22, 2016 12:48 PM
Comments · 9
Do what makes you happy, yes it is very good that you care for your family but you have to live your life and do what makes you happy. Your parents are from time when going abroad didn't really exist much so they don't really understand the whole traveling thing, but nowadays it is good to travel and study or live abroad to get better view of cultures outside your own. If you want to stay with your family then do that but if you prefer to travel and live and study in another country then do that, like I said times have changed and traveling and living abroad isn't such big deal now as it was 60 years ago. Maybe you go abroad and meet someone in your country of choosing and form family there which your parents would probably be happy about, you don't have to decide right away it can take time but if your comfortable with living abroad and that's what you want to do then go for it. Is your life after all.
September 28, 2016

Everything you want in life will always come with a loss, a price to pay and a reward. 


Choose it wisely.


Life can't wait, neitheir your family.

September 22, 2016
@Sid1995  Thank you so much, Sid. Your answer is the best answer I want.  I decide to make a try! Thank you.
October 6, 2016
@Jason   You are right, I should follow my heart. Thanks for ur suggestion, Jason.
October 6, 2016
It is very difficult to make decisions like this. Pursuing dreams is the biggest dream that everyone has in the world. However, sometimes reality just does not allow us to do it. When this type of situations comes, a good balance between the things that you value the most must be maintained. In your case, can't you divide your dreams into pieces and have each one achieved separately. If your dream is to study abroad or live abroad, find a place closer to the country your parents live, so your visits can be more frequent. I know at the end, you may regret about the choices that you make, but just follow your heart. 
September 28, 2016
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Joling小玲
Language Skills
Chinese (Mandarin), Chinese (Cantonese), English, French, Korean, Spanish
Learning Language
English, French