This question has made me confused all the time even I have made my decision to go abroad. It still fights badly in my heart every time I think about it.

I’m 24 now, it seems the perfect age to fight for my dreams. Yeah, many of my foreign friends told me that it is just my best time to persuit what I want, be the one I wanna be and live the way I like.

But, you know, my parents, they are getting to their sunset, I mean they are over 60 years old now. So it is so hard for me to choose. Stay by their side, marry someone, have a baby and a stable life so that I can repay their love for raising me up. I really want to , but I just cann’t, I cann’t let my dream, my ideal go away.

I haven’t got a relationship so far, maybe it is fate that I should go further to find my love. Or because my idea of love and life are so different from the traditional or most chinese people here. I want to be a Dink, I want to raise cats and dogs all my life time, I wanna be a vet and help more animals in my limited life time, I want to spend more time to see the various and gorgeous world, I want to learn piano and music formally to make up the regret in my childhood…

I have many things wanna do, but so less time to make they true. If I decide to go abroad, then it means I will have less time to stay with my parents or just can come back home once a year. I have a plan for my dream to be actualized, at least 8 years. And I need to collect a plenty of money to pay for my long plan. So it is kind of hard to use money to give my parents happiness in the next 8 years. And after 8 years, they are 70 , which means the time I can take care of them gets poorly less. You know, if I do like this I would be a unfilial daughter in the thought of chinese people. I don’t know how western people think. But in china, it is.

They give me so much, so much love, so much support, so much forgiveness…