1. life tip: if nothing goes right go to sleep
2. zombies eat brains.. so you are safe
3. lets play a game called u bring me food and i eat it
4. whoever thinks money doesn't buy happiness, can deposit it in my bank account.
5. My phone screen is brighter than my future
6. Home is where you can look ugly and still enjoy it
7. having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave ur house
8. i wish that my money would have sex in my wallet and multiply
9. If you are one in a million , then there are six thousand people exactly like you.
10. My friends are so much cooler than yours, They are invisible
11. If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for shortest story ever